Flowers in Winter
by BooksandBubblegum
Summary: She wants to understand the world, but will she ever understand him? sshg Warning: Moody Teen,Occlumency lessons,discovered secrets,insomnia,torture,insanity,D.E. Raids,time travel,Apprenticeship & angry professors -may contain lethal amounts of SNARK
1. Alone

Dear _**wonderful fantastical amazing cool great and all around fabulous readers**_ I am a new author (I can hear the groans) and I really need YOUR help please review EVERY chapter you read. Whether you hate it, love it or are plain indifferent REVIEW I really love hearing from people even if it's a flame I want to get better and only with **your **help can I.

Much love,

P.S. adore harry and ron but we all get mad at our friends sometimes as I said before back to normal in two chapters

I understand the first two chapters suck but hang in there my writing gets a whole lot better (this is not my comfort zone)

Chapter 1

I sit here listening to them, forcing myself not to cry. My hair covers my face not to give away how upset I really am. Why do I care that they think of me as just a nerd a bookworm a thing?

To them she wasn't a person, just Hermione. She was the girl to go to if you were failing charms or needed help with your defense against the dark arts project. But of course if you were having a party or a get together the bookworm couldn't come because it would be somehow **awkward** for her not to have a book attached to her hand. And nerds of course don't like anything other than studying and reading so she _really_ won't mind.

Even Harry and …. oh yes Ron. I remember the old days when I was nuts about him. How I felt so nervous when I was around him, afraid that I might act like an idiot. I thought I would be like that forever…well I've been wrong before.

I try so hard not to be hurt. I try to convince myself that they don't really mean it. But they go and say something even worse. I am sick of how they treat me; they make me fell so inadequate and alone. When I'm around the people I was so close to when I was younger, I'm reminded that I felt so understood when I never really was.

The more I sit here the more my defenses brake down. The more I just want to let go and scream. I need to get out of here so I can cry in peace. I need to get away before I brake down and show how weak I really am.

I stand up and begin to walk out. Nobody notices that I'm leaving, no one asks where I'm going or if I'm alright. No one cares. Not any more.

It's quiet in the halls when no one is around and I can hear how ragged my breaths sound from not crying.

I let go of it all and I cry clutching my bag to my chest. I cry for my self hatred, for my confusion, for those I loved and for my anxiety. I need to get away before I hurt my self beyond repair psychologically or emotionally. Hermione Granger bookworm, nerd and seeker of knowledge is going to skip school.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He noticed the wordless exit of Hermione Granger and frowned to himself. In recent days she did not seem the obnoxious walking text book they all came to expect. She was quiet and never seemed to look you in the eye when she spoke. She seemed haunted. God knows what it could be. Perhaps it could be a boy or a poor grade but he doubted it. His guess was that she was beginning to first see the world for what it truly was. He didn't like to admit it but he was worried for the girl. He suspected something bad would happen to Hermione very soon if someone did not interfere. He did not like this situation at all.


	2. I hate you

Chapter 2

The crisp autumn air gave Hermione rosy cheeks and slightly numb ears. But it didn't matter it felt liberating to be out here to have no expectations crushing her and no laughter causing her to cry. She slipped her cloak off so she could feel the full chill of the wind. She stood there for hours perhaps, the wind tossing her curls occasionally. Her cheeks and lips where soon a bright red from the chill.

"Ah yes Miss Granger"

Hermione attempted to control her heart beat while concentrating on the man in front of her. How is it possible for someone to make absolutely no noise when dried leaves coat ever square inch of ground? For the first time in 6 years under his tutelage, Hermione Granger seriously considered the possibility that her professor might indeed be undead. She turned to face Professor Snape.

"The great miss granger skipping classes are we? Or perhaps waiting for Weasley?"

"I'm waiting for no one Professor" I mean how else could he be so pale? Well being indoors all the-

"So I can assume from the way you artfully dodged my comment that you are not going to even try to make up some fanciful story to correspond with your absence in class?."

-would explain it but I mean come-

"Miss Granger?"

"What?"

"'Excuse me'; I was talking about your skipping class"

"I wasn't-"

"20 points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger you are wasting my time!"

Why did he have to do this? Every time I come any where near him he insults me, berates me and scolds me for no reason at all! Here I was after 2 hours I am finally in control of my emotions but talking to him for 2 minutes causes me to lose all composure! 20 points was ridiculous and knowing him more deductions were coming.

"I am sick of you not responding to me gir-"

"Do you know what I'm sick of professor? you! I am sick of you being such a cruel mean patronizing ass who doesn't give-"

"Oh yes the favorite teenage pass time, taking emotions out on others in favor of reliving the feeling of not being in control and-

"YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

"But you a mere slip of a girl know me? You know everything that we **mere** imbeciles and _asses _can't see? Whether or not you see it miss granger you are a child who doesn't know a thing about the real world. And whether or not you have heard this saying, it is none the less true, a full cup can not be filled. You think you understand the world but have you ever truly looked-"

"Shut UP!"

"I am not **Finished!**"

He stood so close to her, his eyes burning into hers; if she blinked her eye lashes would touch him. They both were breathing erratically, struggling not to strangle the other. Hermione was scared, his eyes pitch black were filled with intensity and bore into her eyes. She felt like he could read her soul, but he could couldn't he? She doubted even a vampire could control such a gaze. She wouldn't give in; she refused to show how scared she was.

"I hate you" she whispered

"doesn't everybody?" he turned and walked away leaving Hermione alone and confused. Hermione stood there until time stopped she slowly examined everything she knew. For how long she stood there, doubting herself, doubting the world and wondering who truly was, Severus Snape.


	3. Little White Lies

Dear Readers PLEASE review I desperately need your help I have no idea if I should continue this story or just delete it and move on.

Chapter 3

It was an odd dream; one that you could never quite remember after you woke up. Hermione attempted to go back to sleep but couldn't. She sat up and stretched while cursing herself for having one too many a tiramisu slice. Harry's birthday had been a few days ago but with the whole death eaters trying to attack him there really hadn't been a day to celebrate till tonight. Sirius' house was quite gloomy and creepy at night but since Hermione had a serious jones for cake she decided to use some of that Gryffindor courage and suck it up.

Clad in socks pj's and major bed head, Hermione shuffled through Grimmauld place in search of the kitchen. In one particularly creepy hallway a door was ajar and light spilled forth from it. Hermione was about to keep going when she heard someone say her name. Forcing her curiosity aside she reminded herself that eavesdroppers get what they deserve. So she gracefully burst into the room. She was met with the sight of Dumbledore, Lupin and Professor Snape interrupted in the middle of a heated dispute with Professors McGonagall and Flitwick looking on.

The room itself was cozy with a roaring fire place and stuffed chairs and sofas.

"I, er … just wanted you to know I was there… heard my name so …"

"Eavesdroppers and all that, hmmm?" said Dumbledore his eyes twinkling madly behind his crescent glasses.

"We were indeed speaking of you Miss Granger" commented Snape in an icy tone

"Yes, we were discussing the possibilities for Head Girl and your name kept popping up" remarked Dumbledore his eyes twinkling even more so if possible

Hermione blushed a crimson red made even more brilliant with the flickering of flames in the fireplace "I'll be going then… I'm very sorry didn't mean to interrupt…"

"No need to leave Hermione, we can change the conversation and continue it at a later date, it is a bit boring after a while" pleaded Lupin

"Yes, I agree with Lupin it is a bit tedious after a while, we can play some chess"said Dumbledore

So it was settled. Hermione watched while Dumbledore played Lupin, severely beating him in a minimal amount of time. Then Professor McGonagall and Flitwick played, this game was very entertaining for they were evenly matched but Flitwick eventually won. Professor Snape then challenged Professor Dumbledore to a match. Everyone sat back and watched the battle of two superior wits go against one another. The atmosphere changed from easy going and carefree to intense concentration and tact. 2 hours later Hermione fell asleep with her head in Professor McGonagall lap.

"Is she asleep?"

"I believe she is, Lupin" said Professor McGonagall

"After all this time Dumbledore I still can not understand how you know others so well."

"Severus, it is _really_ not as hard as you think, you just have a hard time of it for you are used to judging people based solely on their darker side."

"But how do you classify curiosity as on their darker side? How did you know she would make herself know?"

"It is the way Hermione is, there is no other way to explain it"

"I also don't understand how you can lie so easily, I thought it was an opportune moment to bring of the apprenticeship-"

"You mean intimidate her out of it Severus."

"I think she should decide for herself before you guilt her into it"

"Severus you are in constant danger of your life you need to train-"

"We've already gone over this Dumbledore! I agree, but I want to make sure SHE wants this, mastering potions takes a certain amount of determination without that-"

"I've had enough for tonight as I said before I need some rest. Lupin will you kindly take Miss. Granger to her bed. Good night.


	4. Disgusting

Chapter 4

Hermione soon awoke to the perfect summer morning. Even Grimmauld place seemed cheery and bright. She tried to remember how she got to bed the night before but couldn't. She probably conked out the night before in the middle of the match; she wished she could have seen who won. She lay in bed for an half an hour before getting up. She brushed her hair (this took a while she couldn't help but wince at how she must have looked the night before). Slipping into a pair of jeans and a shirt she made her way down to the kitchen where the delicious scent of bacon and sausages guided her.

As soon as she stepped into the kitchen, Professor Snape (who had been having a heated discussion with Lupin similar the one she interrupted last night) had a violent reaction to her entrance. He immediately left the room not sparing a glance back. Lupin minuets after he left still stared at the spot he had occupied. As Hermione sat down to eat, Lupin finally spoke to her.

"Hermione Professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you; he is waiting for you in the study"

"Err… where** is** the study?"

"The room we where in last night"

"Oh, thanks"

Hermione was rather nervous. Did Professor Dumbledore want to let her down gently since she was expecting to be Head Girl? Or maybe Snape had told him about what happened last fall? She certainly hoped not.

When she arrived at the door she didn't really know what to do. Was she supposed to knock and enter? Or maybe knock and wait. Or maybe just wait he could be having a meeting that she couldn't interrupt (she seemed to have a bad habit of doing that these days) or maybe he had a very important meeting after this, in that case she was wasting his time. Luckily for her she did not have to face this dilemma for very long. She heard a deep chuckle and Dumbledore summoning her inside.

"Good Morning Professor"

"Good Morning Miss Granger, please take a seat."

"Thank you sir"

"The reason I wanted to have this meeting with you-" so it is a meeting!

"- is because I wish to speak to you about your future"

"Sir?"

"Miss Granger as you very well know, being a member of the order is very dangerous especially to some who are on the front lines. After much consideration on part of me and other members of the order we have decided Professor Snape is to train you in the art of Potion Mastery"

"But sir-!"

"Please Miss Granger, allow me to finish. We think this is a very important-"

"Professor I'm sorry to interrupt you but I must say my piece before you continue. First of all I adore you, I admire you, and I hold you in my highest esteems. But you professor do tend to manipulate situations to your advantage. You may have been able to force Professor Snape into this situation by making him feel guilty but you will not force me. For we both know he has a considerable weakness towards repenting his 'sins'. I understand that you think that this is important but you must understand how impossible this is. I beg you to listen to me before you _attempt _to appeal to my Gryffindor sense of duty. Last autumn I was a complete ass to Professor Snape, no I can not possible describe how cruel and horrible I was to him. I would love to learn from Professor Snape but I doubt severely he would love to teach me. So I'm sorry professor but I ask you to please find someone else more appropriate. If there is no one else I will do it of course, but the fruits of Professor Snape's labor will be no were near as good."

Her statement was met with a long silence which made Hermione very uncomfortable. Dumbledore's finger tips touched each other, forming a triangle of sorts. She could not read Dumbledore's face (could any one?) but she got the impression that he was deep in thought.

"I will consider what you have said Miss Granger, Thank you for your time"

"Thank you Professor, Goodbye"

Hermione then quietly and quickly rose from her chair and left the room.

"I do believe it is disgusting that you are always right"


	5. Oof!

I am dedicating this chapter to my only reviewers: notwritten and ItalianSnapeLoverAkaLuthie. To those of you who are not authors I have inabled it so you too can review. I still haven't gotten one review for this story yet. Please, please review i don't care if it's s flame, I just need to know someone is reading this! If I don't get one soon I'm going to have to delete this story and move on.

Chapter 5

Hmmm… I seem to be having a strange delusion that I just spent 5 minutes telling my head master off…

Did I seriously do what I thought I just did?

OH GOD!!! Not only did I tell the Head Master that I considered him manipulative but I also told him about the SNAPE INCIDENT… oh this is not good, not at all!

Not only did I act like a complete-

"Oof!"

Please god, please, please tell me I did not just walk into-

"Miss Granger, I advise you look where you are going."

Oh of course, Professor Snape could the fates have it any **other** way?

"I'm sorry Professor" we hadn't been alone since, well you know…

I could feel the blush creeping up onto my face and pathetically I tried to hide it by covering my face with my hair but I just **know** he still saw it. So you know what the mature, clever quick witted Hermione Granger did? She ran away. Yep, I can see how Snape could consider me his equal. Have I mentioned that I'm such an _**idiot**_?

Where are Harry and Ron?

* * *

After a twenty minute search Hermione finally found Harry and Ron and quickly told them about her news. An hour and forty minuets later the three of them had dissected every piece of the conversation between Hermione and the Head Master. They all agreed that Hermione acted like a complete idiot but none of them could account for the Head Master's response. The rest of the morning and the afternoon was spent hypothesizing about Voldemort's plans and anticipating their final year at Hogwarts. 


	6. I Spy

Chapter 6

The night before I had not gotten any sleep. Perhaps 2 hours at most. I've always been plagued by nightmares but they seem to be getting worse of late, causing even more sleep deprivation if possible.

This morning Dumbledore owled me requiring me to be present at some meeting of sorts (with Miss Granger I suppose) so I only got through half of the dreadfully written essays. (Have to finish them tonight I suppose) No sooner had I Apparated then I was attacked by Lupin with a tirade of reasons for Miss Granger's apprenticeship. After I had finally gotten through his very sleepy thick head of my intentions, the before mentioned walked in. (actually had her hair brushed) I quickly told Lupin to wait a few moments and then tell Hermione about the meeting with the Head Master before I made my very hasty escape. (Cranky females in the morning, not really my thing)

I made my way down to Dumbledore where he instructed me to observe without being seen. He told me that he invited Miss Granger for a meeting and that he wanted me to see how correct he was in his assumptions about Miss Granger. A few minuets later he chuckled to himself and called a meek looking Miss Granger inside. He began the conversation but was soon interrupted by the girl and was soon given a lecture/monologue by the great Hermione Granger (the whole time he was fighting viciously not to smile). To my surprise the child described our encounter from last fall went on in length about my disposition towards her (incorrect but none the less thoughtful) and how she suggested that she would not be suitable for the position. (Even though we all know how much this meant to her, offer a tidbit of knowledge unlearned and the girl would start salivating). The potential I had seen previously had begun to show itself (all she had needed was a kick in the head). But obnoxiously so, Dumbledore had been right down almost down to the exact words, how disgusting yet again.

After Miss Granger left Dumbledore couldn't help but give me his I-am-always-right-haven't-you-learned-by-now look which is very obnoxious mind you. I was quickly dismissed and was soon encountered with a rather flustered Miss Granger in the hall. She quickly apologized and fled (there is no other term for it) while blushing a new shade of red not yet discovered by mankind. If luck allows I will not be called upon by the homicidal lunatic and may complete the day in peace - doubt it though.


	7. Unrequited

Chapter7

I want it so badly. But I had to go screw it up. I'm such an idiot I should have just taken it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Who cares if Professor Snape doesn't like me? He never did, why did I have to waste such an opportunity?

Hermione had beating herself up over the past few days for not immediately saying yes. She found herself obsessing over the incident from last fall and scolding herself for telling Dumbledore about it. Right now she was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling recounting for the hundredth time perhaps the idiocy of being Hermione Granger.

But in the middle of her self scolding her thoughts were interrupted by a faint but still audible moan. She halted her inner dialogue as she listened for another sound. A couple of seconds later she heard a thud and promptly she scrambled out of bed.

In the hallway… slumped up against the wall… was a death eater. Hermione tried to control her heart beat as she slowly approached it. She prepared herself for the stunning spell, one, two-

"Hermione…dumbledore" his mask askew, his black coat covered with blood and dirt Severus Snape held onto the wall for support. His body appeared to have no strength left in it as he clutched at his only support available. Even his voice which had always had power and command in its tone was weak and feeble.

Hermione cried out as his body crumpled to the floor. She half lifted, half dragged his limp body to the nearest room. (Curse stupid ministry rules!) His breathing was becoming more erratic and labored with each passing second and Hermione had no idea who was in this house at 3o'clock on a Saturday morning. She became very scared when he started thrashing. His fingers began to claw at his body and his whimpers grew louder. She had to pin him to the ground in order to protect him from himself. He was out of his mind with pain and she couldn't hold him much longer.

"Miss Granger, please step aside" Thank you, thank you…

"Professor Dumbledore what is happening to him?"

"My dear you are about to witness _why_ they are called 'Unforgivables'"

"Dobby!"

"Yes professor sir?"

"Would you please get me Madame Pomfrey, Lupin and Sirius Black"

"Yes sir, Professor Snape again?"

"Yes! Now hurry!"

Within a matter of seconds a flurry of activity arrived. Madame Pomfrey arranged a long line of potions and set up a bed with leather straps attached. Lupin and Sirius struggled him into the bed while he thrashed and screamed. Not only was he experiencing the after affects of the Cruciatus curse, he had developed a fever and was screaming incessantly.

His lip was bleeding from biting it not to mention the other wounds he had received earlier that covered his body. His scars had really shocked her; the clothes he wore were tailored to hide the more gruesome of them. He had finally stopped flailing 2 hours later. Madame Pomfrey instructed her to keep his fever down while she got more supplies.

Wet cloth in hand Hermione quietly dabbed him forehead. She next heard something so secret that if he ever knew she knew him he would kill her surely kill her.

Eyes closed he whispered "Why don't you love me Lily?"


	8. Awkward

Apparently some people did not pick up on the hints (they where subtle but I thought they would be less obnoxious that way) that this is an Alternate Universe Fic, it disregards some parts of books 6 and 7. I only wanted to see if I could write this ship and if you look REALLY closely you'll notice it isn't Ron and Hermione that I'm talking about. Hermione has the whole emotional break down thing the beginning of 6th year and the rest of this story is pretty much when she is 17/18 years old. She was upset at the beginning of the story because she felt like no one got her and everyone was teasing/making fun of her(aka references to bookworm and nerd). I hope that cleared up some confusion. Reviewing is as always appreciated and worshipped. ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter 8

I am nervous, oh God am I. Does he remember what he said? If he does I can guarantee when he is done with me I won't even know my name. It wasn't like I wanted to hear him say that it was an accident! Although it is _very _interesting and it explains a **whole** lot…

I still didn't want to know! Well **now **I want to know more, but that's not the point, if I had never heard him I would be perfectly happy and not tortured by my incessant curiosity! It really is his entire fault!

Oh yeah his entire fault for having a fever and being tortured by Voldemort and his idiotic barbaric minions what an awful guy. Then there is the whole thing with him hating my guts!( not that I don't deserve it)But do you really know why I'm so nervous? Oh no, **you **don't! I was so distracted by Snape's secret that I let myself get finagled into doing an apprenticeship… with Snape!

That man has some serious talent. So I now have to meet my teacher/boss in 20 minutes, brilliant absolutely brilliant! What am I supposed to bring? What am I supposed to wear?!! Am I supposed to be a bit early, or a bit late, or perfectly on time? AAAAHHH!!

Twenty minutes and 45 seconds later Hermione had managed to put her hair in a pony tail throw on a light black robe, floo into Hogwarts and sprint down to the potions classroom. Now the eternal question of how to enter… (See chapter3)

15 seconds later the potions' door swung open with its formidable master in its doorway. Hermione tried not to start hyperventilating at the sight of his tall, imposing form in the doorway, it also did not help that the light behind him and the gloominess of the corridor caused him to seem even taller. It also caused the inability to see his facial expressions which made Hermione very nervous.

She entered and stood in between his desk and the rows of tables behind her unsure where to go. He made a gesture to sit in the chair in front of his desk while he preferred to stand in front of her chair, leaning slightly on his desk with his arms crossed. His appearance was different from what it usually was. He wore a dark blue vest with a white button down shirt underneath. He had on black slacks and both of his sleeves were rolled up (showing many a grisly scar) his collar was also unbuttoned (again more scars could be seen) the over all affect was that he looked like a human being not the undead professor she came to expect. She wondered if this was the result of seeing most of his scars or the influence of Dumbledore either or she wondered how long it would last.

"Miss Granger I would like to thank you for accepting this position. Dumbledore told me you expected this to be difficult because of our, how should I put it, relationship. I assure this will not be the case-"

Oh god what did he tell him!!!

"You are the most talented pupil I've ever had in the art-"

Whoa did he just say what I think he-

"-and I hope I will be able to impart some knowledge that you have not already obtained-."

Was that a back handed slap?

"As is the custom, after I teach you most of the basics we will start a project in an area of potions in order to attempt to leave our mark on history. My potions master and I started most of my notes on the Wolf bane potion although I perfected it long after my apprenticeship had ended-"

He _**created **_the wolfsbane potion?!!!

"Dumbledore also wishes me to teach you some defensive spells to aid you in the final battle and history that may be of use. Oh yes and Occlumancy. I must warn you Miss Granger I will take no nonsense or irresponsibility"

"I am aware of that professor"

He took a slight intake in breath as if to say something but stopped. He had a curious expression on his face for the longest time and then dismissed her.


	9. Pain

I love A. Nonomous you are the best reviewer in the world!!!! This chapter is kind of dark so you CAN skip it but I think it is really interesting…another one from Snape's POV I have another chapter coming up in about an hour or so, so hold in there. But really I am dead serious I LOVE A. Nonomous best reviewer EVER!!!

Enjoy!

Chapter 9

He had been at a meeting when it began. It took every ounce of self control not to show that he was in pain. Sweat dripped down his back as his dark mark burned. He was getting dizzy and faint sitting forcing himself to listen to these babbling idiots. It took every thing he had not to grip his chair for support and grimace. An hour and a half passed. Every second the pain increased. Not only did he have to keep his body and face expressionless but he had to keep his mind clear. His "dark lord" was screening mind with a fury searching every corner. He not only had to remain expressionless and clear his mind under extraordinary pain but he had to create false memories and feeling. Occlumancy, a very helpful tool against the homicidal lunatic, must remind myself - need to teach it to the granger girl.

When Severus Snape finally stumbled out of the stuffy meeting room he ran/limped to a safe spot in order to change into his black velvet robes and his mask. There the fun really began.

When he apparated to the death eater meeting he was meet with Crucio after Crucio. He was tortured and taught never to keep the Dark Lord waiting. Lucius was by far the worst. He took almost physical pleasure from torturing him. When the courses began Snape stood and refused to scream but after Voldemort began it was near impossible to stay standing.

The stone floor was abrasive and frigid against his face. As his body was racked with pain he struggled to control his voice and breaths. They wanted to hear his voice tear through the air with pain but he refused to give in to let them get their sick twisted pleasure. His hands, knees and elbows were raw from the constant rubbing against the stone floor caused by his body contorting in pain. He could also fell several nasty bruises and broken bones from being kicked and assaulted.

He tried to control his limbs as his torso writhed in absolute pain. It was at times like these he wished death would visit him. Every inch he knew to be him was on fire. The curse filled his body with the sensation of burning and stabbing. He felt as if he was being slowly torn apart from the inside. Times like these threatened the safety of the order everything rested on this one man's self control. If his Occlumancy slipped for one moment everything they had worked for, and the countless lives that were sacrificed, would all be wasted.

The light from outside the windows grew faint and dark.

All he knew was pain.

He finally gave in and let his pride be destroyed. He screamed and their passions were sated…… for a time.

He was carried by death eaters and thrown at a spot a few acres away from the mansion. He lay there for a time to gather his strength and wits about him. He when he was strong enough so he would not be splinched he, apparated to Grimmauld place.

* * *

He knew the after affects would start soon and wanted to speak to Dumbledore before the spasms began. He needed to report what he had over heard and that was all that mattered. Perhaps this time the man would be fooled that it had been a normal death eater rally. He could see some of his blood on his cloak, he would have trouble explaining that to Dumbledore. 

He knew was he getting old if he couldn't even walk on his own after some Crucios. As his body collapsed against the wall, he heard a soft cry and felt a small body (attempt to) catch him. The last thing he remembered seeing was a pair of very scared brown eyes.

* * *

Before regaining consciousness he was aware of soft hands and whispers and a pleasently cool cloth being applied to his body. 

A few hours later he woke up in a bedroom he didn't recognize. (Oh crap I fell asleep) He observed Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey talk about him for a while until they got to the point of discussing the incredible ability of Miss Granger to drag a man twice her size and a good fifty pounds heavier approximately 50 yards and onto a bed he then decided to interrupt.

Dumbledore then went through the whole story including glowing reports of Miss Granger's compassion and nursing ability. Severus did not like the idea of Miss Granger seeing him "half naked"

"Oh stop it Severus, you are so old fashioned!" replied Madam Pomfrey

* * *

Chapter 10 is really juicy, it is another one from Snape's POV(point of view) and it goes into his past ( SUPER AMAZING AWESOME flashbacks!! Ohh i just love those don't you?)

much love


	10. Vulnerability

This chapter is dedicated to A.nonmous who is an amazing reviewer

The following is another bit from snape's pov

Chapter 10

Vulnerability. Not an emotion I like to deal with. But I seem to be getting used to the feeling now a days. She makes me feel this way all the time. Before it was only because of those two innocent big brown eyes that made me feel so evil after looking into them. They have never seen the evils of this world, but how very soon they will.

Even she now she is targeted, for annihilation and destruction. Even I have begun to fear for her and the thing that hungers for her death. When I look at the children in my classes I wonder if any of them will escape the darkness that is approaching. Some will die; others will be scarred beyond recognition-in more ways then one. Others will lose friends and family. It is hard to look at them, especially after having a "meeting" the night before.

There are times I can save others but I don't because of this role I play. But this title, this role I have it is only annother thing to hide behind, for only a coward would stand by as innocents are murdered. And that is what I am, a coward, a Death Eater, a Monster.

Vulnerability is not something I indulge in in any circumstance if I can help it. I have far too many issues stemming from childhood for that. I don't exactly love ol daddy. Let's just say when I was "lost in the forest" in 6th year and my dad was found dead a few weeks later it wasn't a huge coincidence. Never really forgave daddy for never buying me that awesome broomstick or murdering mother. But never mind about my wonderful childhood.

Vulnerability not really my thing, I don't open myself up to people for a reason. 1.) 99.95 of them are idiots 2.) I don't want people trying to examine my emotions and giving me the whole "what are you feeling" or better yet "what are you thinking" if I wanted you to know I would tell you. Even though vastly annoying and disgusting in terms of ungodly correctness, I enjoy speaking to Dumbledore because of his ability to see me for who I am without judgment.

I was not looking forward to the meeting with Hermione Granger for more reasons than one. She had seen me at my weakest and I am not at all comfortable with that. Not only did she see my scars but she witnessed me weak and pathetic giving in to something as trivial as pain. She knows now some of my closest secrets and I fear she may soon know more. When training someone in Occlumency there is always the chance of accidentally allowing them to view your emotions or memories unhindered and in the case of Hermione this is not good, she is far too persptive and clever. Even from a young age I have always admired the girl's intellect. People assume that because I have had to make up for other teacher's excessive praise that I do not respect and admire her intelligence. I have always been hard on my students in order to instill some sort of work ethic, for many my style of teaching alone has kept many of them from becoming vain, lazy fools who always assume they know more than others around them. For a while Hermione Granger was going to waste her mind because of her ability to always appear to succeed, I say appear because you never are the best if you are only better then those around you, you are only the best if you can out do yourself every time always working to the brink of your intelligence and drive.

But is this circumstance her intelligence intimidates me, for its ability to see behind face value is now a personal threat. In her position as an "Apprentice" she will learn about many portions of my life I prefer to keep secret. This will lead yet again to being in vulnerable positions once more on my part. By the time that magnificent mind of hers is through with me every inch of my emotions, intellect, actions, preferences, personality and so forth will be will analyzed in every possible manner. And this is what I fear most from the world.

Late Wednesday afternoon Hermione receives an owl with a message for her:

Miss Granger,

Occlumency lesson tonight at 9:30.

S.S.

* * *

What do you think? Click on the small blue button to my left and tell me. I love to get some healthy criticism and plot suggestions so don't be shy and review I will **adore** you for it. 

Please review it will make my day I got such a pick me up when i got a review and it tends to make me write a whole lot faster.

Also I will ask you to do me (another) favor and check out my other pieces they are sorly neglected by readers/reviewers. One has been published for 9 days and only has 14 hits.


	11. Concoctions

I would like to dedicate this chapter to **debjunk**, **notwritten**, **sirius 4-ever and a day,** **EruthiadwenGreenleaf** and **A.nonmous** who are my bestestesty friends ever! Thank you so much for sharing with me and reviewing you are amazing!

I would like for readers to consider something. Hermione witnesses Severus Snape express in a feverish delirium (this causes him to mutter what he is thinking, I myself did that once when I had a fever, my mom did not like being told that I did not love her, I did not know I said it but apparently I did) his unrequited love for lily potter and his anguish over it.

Now that we have this in mind my wonderful and brilliant readers I ask you, what is Hermione doing tonight? She is going to have her first Occlumency lesson. Since it is her _first_ Occlumency lesson she will be a sitting duck in terms of Snape being able to see her memories that have strong emotions attached. Now let us think does a memory previously mentioned have a large amount of emotions attached to it? Perhaps anxiety, guilt and curiosity?

Oh yes indeed, I am evil.

* * *

**PLEASE READ THE ABOVE**

* * *

_Miss Granger,_

_Occlumency lesson tonight at 9:30_

_S.S._

What is that supposed to mean? He couldn't even bother to give a location? Am I supposed to floo over to Hogwarts? Am I meeting him after one of his mysterious meetings with Dumbledore? He really is impossible. I am not exactly excited to have Occlumency lessons with Snape. Would he black mail me to his benefit? He was a Slytherin but that didn't account for anything. She simply did not get him. Whenever she interacted with him socially, mentally, or emotionally she always felt like she was in a play and he was always acting, firmly placed behind a mask. Dumbledore was unnerving because of his unbridled knowledge of others but did Severus Snape understand her as well? Is that why he made her anxious? Her thoughts and conclusions kept wondering back to last fall when he seemed to know more about her than even herself, further more he scared her because she did not understand why he did anything he did. Any time she thought she was getting to understand, he did something so different than the pattern she had adapted and grown used to.

So whenever she was around Severus Snape she felt vulnerable. It was almost as if her mind and emotions were naked to his piercing gaze and intimidating mind. But on the other hand she couldn't make heads or tails of him because the icy armor that enshrouded his emotions and thoughts from the world.

And tonight would be even worse, everything she ever thought or felt was in danger to surveillance. But hadn't it always been? Professor Snape had always been a powerful Legilimens and she was so emotional he could have been reading her mind this whole time and she wouldn't have noticed. She doubted he had used his Legilimency skills on her often, probably liked reading her face and body movements just to prove how clever he was.

Hermione later met up with Harry and Ron as they went into Diagon Alley. They visited Weasley Wizard Wheezes to stock up and oh course every book shop in the area. Hermione spent a fortune trying to guess every possible subject Professor Snape had in mind so she would be prepared. While finally sitting down and enjoying the welcome shade she finally explained to the two of them the situation. So there they sat until 7o'clock eating ice cream and conversing about the horrors that awaited Hermione later that night. Hermione was not heartened especially after Ron's comment concerning aurors not being able to find her remains. Hermione was nervous and mixed with unadulterated fear it is a horrible concoction indeed.

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I am really hoping for someone adding me to their favorite authors slot or possibly Flowers in Winter to their favorite story slot. Reviews are appreciated and adored (along with their reviewers). I always update with more speed the more reviews I get. 


	12. Occlumency

You have asked me for more Harry and Ron I have done this, you have asked for longer chapters I have done this, you have asked for a more descriptive writing style I have done this. I am here to serve, please review

Chapter 12

After many a frustrated letter, Hermione finally found out the session was to be held at Snape's home during the summer. He apparently was in a huge potion's project and was not eager to leave his house. But Hermione was soon confused and frustrated when she learned that Professor Snape had two houses he lived in in the summer. Another hour was spent wasted before Hermione had discovered that it was in fact not spinner's end but the less well known house that was a few miles away from Hogwarts.

Hermione paced around her room wondering what to wear as Harry and Ron sat on her bed making unhelpful suggestions.

"Why do you even care what you are wearing it's only the greasy git" said Ron

"Professor Snape and I want to make a good impression"

"But Hermione it's Snape, who cares?"

"_**Professor Snape**_ and I care!"

"But Hermione-"

"Has it occurred to you that this is important to me? That I want to do this?"

"But Hermione you were just complaining about it yesterday-" Harry pointed out

Hermione huffed and stuttered for a moment before regaining her composure

"Well….well...WELL I want to make the best of the situation and I was hesitant because-

"If you call freaking out hesitant Hermione" said Harry

"Harry please let me finish, because Professor-"

"Greasy git" muttered Ron

"Ron! Stop it! His is our Professor you should give him some respect!"

"But he is a git Hermione, you know as well as we do, why he was so horrible to you last fall but all you did was blame yourself, he deserves it!"

Then she really couldn't help it, she began to cry.

Cry because no one deserved it less, no one sacrificed more, because sometimes when she slept she saw his body convulsing and his voice screaming in pain because every day she worried about him. But most of all because she had thought the same way a few months ago.

Sobbing in her hands she fell to the ground and rocked herself back and forth wishing it all away. She soon felt 4 warm, strong arms embrace her as they tried to comfort and wipe away her tears.

Her head propped up on Harry's shoulder she began to speak in a soft, almost hesitant voice "I feel so horrible sometimes how no one cares about him or says thank you or even says hello. Everyone seems to always judge him on the things they think they know…. I don't know… I… guess I just felt that way once…. and it sort of left its mark."

"We're sorry Hermione; we really didn't mean to upset you"

"Yeah. I never really thought of him that way you know…" said Ron

"Hermione?"

"Yes Ron?"

"You get cranky when you get your period"

"WHAT!" Hermione quickly wrenched herself from their grasps and stood up, glaring at them, she was met with a chorus of laughter and had no choice but to join in.

They then had a pillow fight which ended with Rom and Harry mock begging for mercy on the floor as Hermione attempted to hit them between laughs. All was right with the world.

* * *

Oh My God! I have half an hour before I have to go and I have no idea what I'm wearing or if it really is the right bloody house! Shit, SHIT! Hermione hopped around the room looking for her other shoe stubbing her toe and hitting her shin on the edge of her dresser.

After giving up finding an outfit she liked she through on her first choice to begin with (Light polo shirt with a black jean skirt under her cotton cloak with her favorite pair of sandals, not too formal not too casual…) She rushed downstairs to the kitchen grabbed a piece of a bagel and ran out of the house hoping to dear sweet God he did not expect her to be early.

* * *

The one thing she thought when she saw his house was gorgeous. And then big. It was a white and crème mansion complete with ivory and a wrought iron fence. She saw a personal garden peaking out from the back of the house which just added to its charm. This is so…. Unexpected would be a nice term. Hermione hoped to God he took down the wards; she knew she would not be any where near able to disarm them. She counted to three then gingerly opened the fence expecting an explosion to occur and a voice screaming "intruder alert!" but nothing happened. She was so nervous she kept twisting her head this way and that in order to see if any Death Eaters leapt from the shrubbery.

But then something caught her eye, he had a rose garden. They were beautifully well kept all different kinds. He had cabbage roses, French roses, dog roses, field roses, sweet briar roses, Scotch roses and downy roses just to list a few. There where so many kinds and shapes and colors to the beautiful flowers Hermione felt herself just stare in awe and excitement. And then she saw it, the sight made her heart wrench and threatened to make her cry. There on the other side of the rose garden was the most beautiful lily garden. The flowers were tended with such care it made her throat close up to think about another he loved so. Humming birds quietly danced among them drinking their sweet nectar.

She backed away afraid to tread any further and disrupt something so personal and lovely. She noticed her face was wet and was trying to dry it when she heard a voice behind her.

"Please come inside Miss Granger"

* * *

As she followed her Professor inside his house she was amazed at how it looked. Well besides it was a gorgeous mansion it was decorated in such a manner that it was not too much or lacking anything. It was a large house and she wondered how he made it look so lived in. They went up several flights of stairs to his study upon further investigation she found his lab was attached through a sliding bookcase "well I guess we're both paranoid" thought Hermione. The room itself was as beautiful as the rest of the house but to Hermione she found it seductive. The promise of knowledge seemed to ooze every corner and surface in his study. A large fireplace crackled warming two comfy leather reading chairs, a kissing chair along with a small table with an assortment of orderly notes and quills organized on its surface. He gestured for her to take a seat while he got them drinks.

"Wine?"

" Ahhh… yes please"

He was efficient as ever with his movements not wasting a moment. He was almost hypnotizing to watch; his hands so graceful and pale made picking up a glass look like an art. Once again his attire was more human and casual. He wore a pair of black slacks with a white button down shirt unbuttoned at the top and rolled up at the arms. He handed her her drink and took the seat opposite her. They sat there in silence both of them observing the other while sipping their wine. His body, his face, and his movements all seemed relaxed and Hermione felt herself relieved at the sight. Well he defiantly knew to pick a wine, another one of his many unknown talents. She watched him as he shifted in his seat, crossing his legs watching her the whole time. She remembered hearing that a male should never cross his legs because it looked effeminate but at that moment she couldn't disagree any more. This man before her seemed to exude intelligence and power, it was...intoxicating or perhaps it was the wine. His eyes, pitch black stared directly into her soul but she found that she didn't care any more if she was vulnerable around him.

He gave a sardonic smile as if to mock himself and began to speak in a tone barely above a whisper

"Occlumency is the art of defending your mind against intrusion. It is a fine art that takes patience and determination to master. There is no half way to knowing Occlumency. Either you have mastered it or you're mind is weak to intrusion. As you know from being my student, I do not take slacking off or talking back, I expect you to perform to the very edge of your ability is that clear?"

"Yes sir'

"When you leave tonight I want you to take the stack of books by the door with you to study. I will expect them all learned by our next lesson. Is this clear?"

"Yes sir"

"Are there any questions?"

"No sir."

"Then let us begin" He then stood up and with a flick of his wrist the furniture was neatly arranged on the other side of the room.

Her gut clenched in fear at what was coming, of what he might see or discover and she wanted more that any thing to run away as quickly-

"Miss Granger, are you alright?" Her face had become deathly pale and she was winching as if in pain

"Yyyes sir" she managed to stutter. She felt sick, and wondered if she could through up with only a little piece of bagel in her stomach.

"All right Miss Granger, I want you to fight me as hard as you can, alright?"

She nodded her head vaguely aware of what was about to take place.

"Legilimens" he breathed

The first thing she was aware of was him. He was every where surrounding her engulfing her. She could smell scandalwood and earth and books and ink then the memories came. At first they where silly little memories, throwing a hissy fit at 4, when she first learned to ride a bike, then they came. The memories that made her cry. The strange death of her favorite aunt and cousin. Her uncle went on a business trip, came home and found his wife and son dead. They died of shock but there were no signs of heart failure. Being teased for being a bookworm, and a know it all, not having any friends. The troll and how she really had been crying in the bathroom. Ron kissing her and it feeling wrong. Crying at night because she didn't understand any one around her and that none of them understood her. Then it changed was his face telling her how obnoxious she was, how annoying. The time when he told her her teeth looked the same after they were hexed and growing. The memories of having no sleep for a week because she wanted him to tell her her essays were outstanding. Last fall how horrible she felt about saying she hated him. Then it was earlier that day her crying over him and then that night he whispered….

"NO!"

Memories began to fill her consciousness, his mother being hit, his father screaming at him calling him unnatural and disgusting. His father raping and killing his mother in front of him. His father trying to kill him. Then she was killing his father with hatred directed towards him and every muggle every born. The night he got his mark. The first time he went to a death eater rally, female's screams that begged for mercy engulfing him with fear and disgust. Him sitting under a tree near a lake…

She was forced back into her mind, then his body was convulsing in pain, his screams surrounding her the light highlighting his scars as he writhed around in pain, his back arching. Then she was nursing him "NO" dabbing his arms "PLEASE DON'T" brushing his hair from his face, then his whisper

"Why don't you love me lily?" it faded away slowly

He withdrew. His eyes were hollow as if not there, his hands and arms shook as if trying to control himself

* * *

In my opinion this is the worst thing I have written, ever. 


	13. Beautiful

Chapter 13

She couldn't see his face it was covered with his hair. Rage came off him in torrents. It was all she could do not to run. Running then seemed like a good idea but he would hex her if she moved an inch. Even if she did manage to escape she would have to face him eventually and it was not good when Severus Snape brooded. Adrenaline pumped itself through her body and with no outlet it was making her even more skittish and frightened. He would kill her he surely will there is no way she I getting out of this alive. She watched him as he leaned up against a wall with his forehead touching it lightly. She was waiting for the movement that would end her life the whisper that would cease her heartbeat forever. She could hear her heart pumping blood. She waited for death, waited for the memories to come.

He slammed his fist into the wall not even wincing in pain as he slowly turned to faced her. His eyes threatened immediate death as his gaze bore into her soul. She could feel herself shaking but could not stop herself her mind had been taken over by the fear.

All of a sudden he strode towards her, Hermione tried to back away from him but he caught her arm and thrust her into a chair. He leaned over until their faces almost brushed. She could feel his breath hot and erratic on her face.

"Listen to me. You will do as I say or suffer the consequences." He stressed the word suffer making it drag on as long as possible.

"You will not fight me when I enter your mind is that clear?" Hermione didn't answer him she couldn't find her voice and she was too numb to nod.

She felt the beginning of him trying to enter her mind and twisted her face away from his gaze for in fear of being driven insane. He firmly grasped her throat and jaw forcing her face towards him and hissed his displeasure.

"You best do as I say witch, I have many ways of forcing you to do as I say, with or without magic." Hermione shuddered trying to force her mind away from that thought she felt him enter her mind again.

* * *

He had been dreading the meeting all day the possibility she might discover something was petrifying. He eventually got lost in his project for the order and allowed time to fly by. Before he knew it she was due any minute and he had to see if she had passed his test. He quietly watched for her to apparate. A couple minutes later there was a loud crack and Hermione appeared. He was amused to see she was nervous. She kept on twisting her cloak and wringing it. Upon closer inspection he could see she was biting her lip, he chuckled to himself and then sobered. He knew what he was hiding but what possibly could Hermione Granger have to hide from the world? What exactly had she done with the Weasley child… no, no best not to think of that. As he watched Hermione hover at the gate for a while and began to ponder on how strange it seemed attach the word "child" to Miss Granger's name. She had done some incredibly stupid things in her time but was the only one of the Gryffindor trio who always had a plan even if it was a sketchy one at that. Even now she seemed to him the little Gryffindor 11 year old that was far too eager for knowledge and acceptance. In the past years she had changed progressively in appearance but he never put much weight in appearances. Her manner of thought and speech had dramatically changed along with her mannerisms over the past year. She could still be frightfully annoying at times but she really had been trying to hold herself back these past months. He then found himself at his conclusion, Hermione granger was not a child anymore but not an adult either. She rather was stuck in between, he told himself but he was not too convinced. But let the poor chap alone he did not want to admit to himself that she had grown up in one go, it was rather painful the first step at least knowing his influence over her would soon be gone. He watched as her curiosity won out as she gingerly opened the gate. He watched her as she saw the rose garden, her eyes large and dreamy. Oh yes ever the romantic aren't we Miss Granger? He chuckled to himself. 

When he finally reached the porch he watched as a single tear slid down her cheek and wondered when did her baby fat leave? He was greatly amused while he watched her jump as he summoned her inside.

He did not miss the look of awe on her face when she entered his home; she tried to hide it along with all her glances. When they finally reached his study it took ever thing he had not to laugh. The look that passed across her face when she saw his library was one akin to pure lust. Only she would find books enticing in that manner.

As she sat he observed her. The way she moved was so different to those a few years past. It was not nervousness per say that changed her movements it was her…

When did those get there? He almost choked on his wine as he handed her her glass.

He watched her as she sat there. Her knees were together and her ankles were crossed and to the side. But even in this very mature sitting position she didn't look uncomfortable as if putting on airs but rather totally relaxed, as if in her element. He wondered what else had he missed in the past years. He decided to take an objective evaluation of her, attempting to set aside all of his past and present prejudices.

She was five feet six inches approximately although it was rather hard to tell with her sitting down. She had pale skin, it was no where near as pale as his but not exactly tan and it did look rather lovely with the fireplace…

Stop it, you can't get distracted! Objective observation, _objective _observation...

She had an oval shaped face that was symmetrical to a degree. Her nose was not particularly small or large. Although hard to describe, it complimented the other features of her face nicely. Her lips although not particularly large could be considered full, were very distracting when they had slight sheen of wine on their surface. Her hair although frizzy with the summer's humidity cascaded down in curls around her face; it was parted to the side. Her eyes could be classified as brown but by no stretch of the imagination could they be considered ordinary. They had gold specks that caught the light, her pupils were dilated because of the lighting and he found himself staring into their depths. Her eyes glowed with a certain amount of willfulness that was both exasperating and unequivocally attractive. But as she quietly evaluated him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes were alight with such an intensity that came from her unbridled intelligence he immediately found himself drawn to her. Upon closer examination her facial expressions betrayed a sort of innocent benign sweetness that encouraged the male inside of him to protect her. He found when he evaluated her without his past opinions getting in the way he found that Hermione's looks were well, beautiful.

But was he was forgetting how he looked, not to mention how he had treated her in past in his attempts to try and craft her into an independent individual. Why did he always have to pick the most impossible attractions? Not to mention that he was thinking of her like a lecherous old man. This apprenticeship is going to be much harder than anticipated.

He told her the little speech he had prepared (not really a speech more like a collection of thoughts) and watched her as she avoided his eye contact and glanced at the floor.

As they rose and he moved the furniture she grew deathly pale. When he inquired after her well being she quickly denied anything being wrong.

As I practiced Legilimency on her I soon realized her aunt and cousin had been killed by death eaters. I had heard about the name granger but never attached it before. As I saw the memory of her kissing Weasley I wondered had she been hiding...perhaps something with potter...? But as my curiosity grew about her previous relationships I saw memories of me. Being rather, err… mean. And I felt slightly guilty after seeing her have a melt down from not sleeping in order to gain praise from me (which knowing me she never did). I could see myself writhing and screaming myself horse (while half naked).Then there was an image of me laying in bed that was coming into focus when she violently shoved me out of her head.

In Occlumency if you are aware of an intruder in your mind, the person's mind would give off a signature of sorts. It is always rather distracting having a member of the opposite sex in your mind. A person's signature is always unique to their person but undeniably belonging to their gender so if you are attracted to females it is rather difficult to ignore the scent of a female enveloping your every sense. Well, Miss Granger's signature is _very _distracting. I can feel a warm breath on the back of my neck and the smell of bluebells and lilac is unmistakable, along with the scent of parchment, it is rather…enjoyable.

As I struggle with controlling the urge to crush her against my person, I am vaguely aware of memories floating across my consciousness. When I suddenly have a glimpse of that day that forever changed my happiness, I throw her out.

Then the memory she forced me out of comes back. I can hear her pleading not to continue begging, and as I wonder what possibly could have occurred. She almost tenderly dabs my body with a cool cloth while I am recovering. I hear myself whisper the darkest secret I have ever had.

I can hardly control myself, the rage that threatens to take over. At the memory of those perfect green eyes. And having lost them forever. Having never been loved by them. I am shaking. As I turn to face her I can see the fear in her eyes. She is violently shaking, her eyes are wide and pleading. I need to know if she told, if I can obliviate her and be done with it. When I approach her she stumbles back, I can smell the fear pouring off of her. I force her to sit so she can't hide. As I enter her mind she twists her eyes away from mine in an attempt to break the connection. I need to see her eyes to see the guilt or the absence of it. I force her head to face mine.

I search her mind looking every where for a clue to her telling.

"Did you tell anyone?" I croak still in her mind, I'll know if she is lying

"No! I am sorry I heard I didn't…"

She is intoxicating, a drug. Her signature would drive any male to insanity.

Her skin is soft.

So is her breath.

I wonder,

will her lips be…

as… well

* * *

In this chapter I really wanted to set the stage in terms of their sexual tension. Did i do too much? Was it cheesy? 

I might rewrite this chapter it did not turn out quite the way i intended


	14. Insanity or rather the appearance of

I just want to say thank you to you guys I really appreciate you putting up with my drivel, in the past two chapters I didn't say thanks to reviewers and just wanted to remind you guys how appreciated you are. This is a long list (50 reviews!!! WHOA!!! Never thought this would happen!!) For those of you who reviewed both chapters I know who you are I just think it would be redundant to type your names twice but much, much kudos to you!!

Thank you: **treadingfantasy**, **EruthiadwenGreenleaf**, **debjunk**, **sirius 4-ever and a day**, **interesting**, **Siriusluver-le**, **notwritten**, **james'sluv-ShadowC** and **makya **for reviewing you guys keep me going, you are awesome thank you for taking time out and saying hi

Thank you: _**EruthiadwenGreenleaf**_, _**Sirisha19**_, _**Siriusluver-le**_, _**balmung's angel**_, _**james's**_ _**luv-ShadowC**_, _**magnificentmeg**_, _**sirius 4-ever and a day**_, and _**snarkybookworm89**_ for adding Flowers in Winter to their favorites list it makes me feel like this story is liked and cared about.

Thank you everyone for reading now onto chapter 14!!

P.S. I have a poll up on my profile about which flowers in winter chapter is your favorite, check it out.

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Chapter 14 

He looked insane. Her face was numb from his grasp. She resisted the urge to squirm; if she did he would squeeze harder. She couldn't think, she felt mesmerized almost, completely enshrouded in black pools of fire. Once again she was terrified from this knowledge. This man she had always perceived as cold almost unfeeling. Sure sometimes he would become angry but that was usually from his injured pride, never had she seen him express such… feeling.

It was beginning to get hard to breath, two people both attempting to extract oxygen from the same area for 5 minutes, and it's going to get a bit stuffy.

He was so hard to read, his movements, face and body language gave nothing away. She couldn't tell where his pupils ended and his irises began. Over all it caused a feeling of being completely out of control, she was barely was allowed to blink. She had to curse fate again for doing this to her, she didn't want to find or for him to either, just another example that the universe was against her.

She noticed the second his eyes moved (he was the only thing she was able to look at) his eyes had previously been looking into hers but had a few moments past abruptly moved to her lips.

Perhaps he was contemplating something he found (oh dear God….) but it was unnerving. She soon found herself glancing at his lips nervously. It was fascinating really. I mean she had never really examined anyone's lips before. The quiet intake and exhale of breath, the occasional wetting with the tongue, even the creases and the glimpse of the mouth peaking through was hypnotizing.

Or perhaps it was just him.

Everything about him was interesting and so different from anything she had ever experienced. He was one huge mystery, everything from the way he set his hands when he was concentrating or mad, or the way he held a cup of tea. His train of thought even was so foreign to her, the way his mind leaped from one idea to the next. In more ways than one he constantly reminded her she didn't know everything, far from it, and that she never would.

People hated him because they understood him only on face value. That cold, cruel façade he always affected, no one except a handful ever looked past it. Perhaps he liked it better that way.

* * *

Severus and Hermione were both staring intently at one another both with identical looks of deep concentration on their features. 

"Severus, dear God Severus!" professor Dumbledore's voice shattered the silence in the room his voice echoing slightly. Dumbledore's head was sticking out of the fireplace his voice was filled with fear and desperation.

Severus' head popped up at the sound of his name, his hands still on either side of Hermione's chair he straightened and faced the Head Master.

"Yes Albus?" he croaked. His voice was very coarse and hoarse it lacked its usual silken tone.

"I was hoping you knew the whereabouts of Miss Granger something terrible has... oh thank Merlin there you are Miss Granger, please could both of you hurry it is of the utmost urgency, quickly!"

Severus then grabbed his cloak along with Hermione's and pulled her out of her chair. Hermione groaned as her muscles complained at the sudden movement. Her eyes were still slightly glazed as if just awakened from a heavy sleep. She still couldn't imagine that she actually survived this night "Oh no don't say that you don't know what Dumbledore is about to say don't tempt the fates" She stumbled towards the fireplace with Professor Snape's hand holding her arm firmly, guiding her. Her face ached from his rough grasp she could still feel his finger's grip on her jaw; she was not looking forward to talking.

* * *

As she fell ever so gracefully onto the hearth rug in the headmaster's office she saw Professor Dumbledore pacing madly around his office stroking his beard with look of pure desperation on his face.

* * *

As he flooed into the Head Master's office he deftly dodged Miss Granger's prone, groaning form. He helped her up off the hearth and faced Dumbledore. 

"Albus, why are we here?"

"Severus….. I am… so very sorry Miss Granger, your parents… they are missing. They have been for a couple of hours… there was a report of… ah; some…spells being cast at your parents' house. We have reason to believe that Death Eaters have…. captured them, I am so sor-"

Hermione's eyes were wide and full of horror. She was pale and was shaking violently her eye lids fluttered and she collapsed on the floor.

Severus dashed over and caught her carrying her over to a sofa. He then threw himself into a chair and promptly grasped his head in his hands. He sat there for a while his elbows on their corresponding knees, his locks of hair peaking through his hands as he gripped his hair.

"What spells Albus?"

"Severus…"

"Don't BULLSHIT me Albus; I need information now, to keep me and them alive."

"Crucios, 4 of them, 3-5 minutes in duration"

"Albus… there is a raid tonight"

Dumbledore gripped the young man's shoulder trying not to hear the choked sobs emanating from the haunted soul before him.

A cry escaped from Severus' lips as he clutched his forearm in pain.

"Severus, you don't have to go, you don't have to be-"

"The order needs a spy and those people deserve a clean death."

As he turned to leave, cloak and mask on, Dumbledore spoke

"I am sorry"

Whether he heard him or not, he did not turn, the cursed man continued to his fate.

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What did you think? I am always afraid I am being cheesy. I didn't have enough time to double check this chapter so it probably is full of confusing and ridiculous mistakes, please contact me if you come across one. Please review and check out the poll on my profile. 


	15. Pasts and their Ghosts

Chapter 15

The frigid air clawed at his face as he walked. As he walked with his cloak open and loose he tried not to think. As he walked he tried not to feel. To let the pain give way to numbness, inside and out. He didn't want to think about what lie ahead. He didn't want this. To be executioner or ideal witness. To be judge and jury, to weigh one life against another. The child or its mother, who wants it more? Who has a chance to survive?

Over the years he had become desensitized to hearing of the horrors but whenever he experienced it in person it was just as sick and disgusting as first witnessing it as an eleven year old child. Every rape, every scream jolted him back to his mother's shrill cries for mercy and his father's love of power.

Whenever he witnessed someone's torture it always brought him back to being 12 years old and Lucius Malfoy's sick power games. Lucius had always hated him from the moment he met him.

He had felt intimidated by the child's intelligence and had set out from the moment Severus had mouthed off to make life a living hell for Severus. Having already been ostracized by the gossip surrounding his birth and his father's habits with beating woman, Severus had a hard time making alliances and friendships. But combined with the child's strange looks and Lucius Malfoy's hatred, Severus was sentenced to an educational career without human companionship. Unforgivables couldn't be used in the school because of the sensitivity to dark magic in the area but everything else was fair game for Lucius' gang. They called themselves death eaters even though the oldest was maybe 15 and most of them were prefects thanks to the Slughorn idiot. And even more thanks to Lucius' charm and looks he was never punished for his crimes against the Muggle born students. When suspicions arose Lucius always managed to pin the blame on someone else or claim that the person who was dead had been depressed and had committed suicide. On occasion Lucius had attempted to pin things on Severus but although Severus was not popular or liked by the general population of the school he was clever and had managed to escape unjust punishment. When at the age of 16 Lucius had truly become a Death Eater he embarked on a mission to curry the Dark Lord's pleasure by bringing in New Blood. Lucius manipulated Severus into becoming obsessed with the Dark Arts and therefore he promised knowledge unknown and powerful through Voldemort. So at the age of fourteen Severus had become a slave, lured into servitude by his lust and need for knowledge.

Over the years Severus had become adept at building up defenses for his body and mind after enduring torture magical and not. It had starting out short with brief tastes of pain but the older he became and as his masters changed he began to endure more and more.

It is a rather curious thing to consider the almost evolutionary like quality of the situation. It seemed his mind had formed ways of protecting itself when it found itself in extraordinary amounts of pain. While other people would have been driven to insanity it seemed he had been able to survive with all his mental abilities in tact. Perhaps with the gradual and consistent abuse his body had adapted to his violent life.

When Severus finally reached the apparition point outside of Hogwarts he paused. He considered for the hundredth time, perhaps the last, the possibility of running away from it all, abandoning all responsibility, letting the world go fuck itself, they didn't need him or did they want him...

With one final glance back to the world of sanity he apparated away to face his fate, whatever it may be and to hopefully to save other's from theirs.

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The first thing he was aware of was pain. Blinding, overwhelming, sanity shaking, pain.

Cold marble slammed into his knees as he fell to the floor for the lack balance he possesed.

"Severussss" hissed the Dark Lord his voice cold and serpentine made Severus' skin crawl with disgust and forboding

"Yes Master?" Whispered Snape still trying to come to grips with what was occurring around him. He knew this place but thanks to the inebriated affect the pain was causing his consciousness he couldn't place where. He could see Death Eaters surrounding him complete with Lucius smirking dramatically with his scar twisting gruesomely in his face. Wormtail looked so excited that he might wet himself, if Severus would guess there must be a rape soon. Rapes had always been one of the hardest things of being a death eater for Snape all he could do was relieve the moments before his mother's life ended, choked sobs and stifled begs for mercy... Sometimes he wished he had never had a mother, if he hadn't wouldn't still be haunted by her to this day. He thought after killing father he would be free of his mother's memory but it seems it has only become worse and worse over the years...

"Severussss, I am dissspleassssed, you did not inform me and as my spy it is your duty to do sssso, sssso now I wonder are you really _my_ spy?"

"Please, Master-"

"SSSSILENCCCCE! You have disssssappointed me SSSeverussss and for thisssss you sssssshall pay, CCCCRUCCCCIO!"

Another wave of pain far more brutal than the last hit him causing his prone figure to start convulsing

"Why did you not tell me you had an apprenticccce SSSSeverusssss? Or that it was Hermione Granger the little whore that both Potter and his sssidekick like to keep close to their bedsssss? Had I been warned of thisssss earlier I could have created a plan to kill the little nuisssanccccces! You have been foolish in your actionssss but because of Lucccccciusss' information we may be able to rectify the sssituation. Thissss, thissss little whore is apparently the brainssss behind the child who vexxxxess me and sso sssssshe needssss to be desssstroyed. Right now I can not reach her becaussssse ssssshe is under Dumbledore'sssss consssstant ssssurveillancccce and apparently my ssssspy-" he spat at the word as though trying to get a disgusting taste out of his mouth, seliva splatering the air

"-isssss too **usssseful** to have hisssss cover blown so I will have to sssssettle for targeting thossssse around her. Asssss you may have heard from the sssssenile twit the whore's parentssss are under my… control. At firsssst I wassss inclined to kill them, ssslaughter them in a wonderfully ruthlesssssssss manner with a large amount of pain, humiliation and gore, but I realize that would only fan the firessssss. It would caussssse her to focussssss all of her 'grief' into helping **insssssolent** little potter and I could not have that could I? Insssssstead I have come up with an ingenioussssss idea, can you posssssssibly guesssssss SSSSeverussss?"

"No My lor-"

"Of coursssssse not… cccrucccio. Wormtail would you be ssssso kind asssss to essssscort the _lovely_ Violet...and George Granger in? Sssssoon you will ssssee my sssservants why I am conssssidered the Lord of Darknesssss"

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I am so so so so so very sorry for the long wait I do hope it was worth it, I have a poll about Flowers in Winter up on my profile so I do implore you to participate in it, if you don't it's ok I know time is precious and all that. I hope you found the whole bit about Severus fascinating I found it that way when I was writing it. Thank you so much for putting up with me and reading it really is appreciated. I would adore you for all eternity if you kindly reviewed, but yet again time in all that I understand. Hopefully I did not make any huge errors if I did please point it out to me it would be doing me a great service, thank you again -nHc


	16. Meet the Parents

For the next 30 or so days I will not be checking reviews or stats or reading Fan Fiction, I hope that when I start checking again I will have 40 new reviews for I will be updating this whole time period. If you really need to get in contact with me over FIW because of some plot suggestions or major grammatical error I am still reading PMs

Thank you for your time,

Much love

Chapter 16

The homicidal lunatic had gotten one thing right, Violet Granger was lovely. As he watched the Grangers pushed into the room he examined the parents for the most confusing creature he had ever met. Violet Granger was beautiful beyond belief………she looked exactly like Hermione, only you know older. George Granger on the other hand did not look at all like Hermione. He was tall. Very tall. Maybe 6'4"? He had dark black hair and a duplicate of the exact look Severus had seen on Hermione's last fall. Complete utter anger, only the fact it was on the face of someone a good foot taller than her combined with the width of his shoulders made a pants wetting sight. Daddy's little girl, asides from her obnoxious and for George frightening Gryffindor qualities, she had inherited her father's eyes which right now were not quite as soft and sweet as hers. Violet though not as tall and nowhere near as fearsome as her husband gave off a quiet strength seemed to affect the unconsciousness of the death eaters around her. Almost as if feeling his gaze, Violet Granger turned her head towards Severus and gazed into his eyes. He soon found himself wondering if Muggles knew a form of Occlumency. Seeing as this was the woman who created and bore Hermione Granger he found himself very sure of this possibility.

"Bow to the Dark Lord!" squealed Wormtail

George Granger spat at the homicidal lunatic and snarled, his eyes flashing with rage.

Death Eaters tried to manually to force him to the ground but failed, arms bound, legs allowed barely any room to move with the length of binding tied from ankle to ankle, George managed to head but, push and bite his way through death eaters causing some very serious injuries along the way.

When Lucius put the imperius curse on George granger it was all over. Lucius then went up to George Granger's face and spat smirking the whole time. Until George Granger bit his face. Murder screaming in his eyes George Granger glared at Lucius as Lucius's face was cloaked in dark red blood while he screamed like the bloody coward he was. Severus found himself wondering how the incompetent Death Eaters had managed to bring the two of them here alive with how George was lethal with binding on his limbs. But then he saw one of the incompetent fools grab Violet, mid her elbowing and thrashing, and put a knife (Snape tried not to snort) to her throat. George stopped, looking even angrier than before, was shoved to his knees. The brilliant child who was holding a knife to Mrs. Granger's throat then decided to grope Mrs. Granger's breast. In perhaps 6 seconds Mr. Granger had tackled the brillant18 year old boy to the ground, somehow managed to get the knife from the child's hands and slash his throat. Apparently George was very protective of his wife and daughter, to very dramatic ends. Now everyone of his Dark lord's servants are scared to approach the man. He cannot break his binding with his knife but he sure can slit some throats and the idiot who had the knife who had it cast a counter-accio spell on it. Yes, the Dark Lord certainly recruits the best and brightest doesn't he?

"Sssssseverusssss, fix this! Apparently you are the only competent one of all my servants"

Oh of course, yes I've spent the last half hour being tortured by you for my incompetence, but now all of a sudden I'm your favorite toy again. How to handle this situation and get them out alive? I don't care about limbs or scars just so that they can return to their daughter breathing. Occlumency. Show him that they want to hurt Hermione and that he needs to think of his daughter. Much easier said then done…

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I hurt, I ache and I fear. Every instinct inside of me is telling me to attack to hurt to kill, to protect my vi the mother of my child. It takes everything not to be over whelmed by my rage and adrenaline. There is a reason god made woman, to be the peace keepers, god made them to help curve man's drive and god made men to be the protectors. So here I am overwhelmed with the god given instinct to protect, aggression is pumping through my every sense clouding everything else but my vi. I need to hold onto my common sense, all they are, are stupid little bullies. They are all weaker than me in drive, in everything. I can lose everything, they will lose nothing. I need to tap into the Granger brain and keep calm. How to get out of this? How am I supposed to know, I don't know why we are here! Think, THINK! Examine the people, no the _tools_ to manipulate… All of them are screaming fear with their movements, facial expressions...even their reptile they call a 'The Dark Lord' (more like a homicidal lunatic) is fearful… Except one. The man was in the shadows and his face betrayed no expression except concentration. His hair was dark and contrasted greatly with his skin that was pale and almost translucent. There were dark shadows under his eyes that betrayed weariness whether it be from lack of sleep or stress, or rather both. The man seemed to exude power and control. This was a man to fear. I could not see much of him but when the reptile spoke again he moved from the shadows towards me. The man had no iris or perhaps no pupil, his eyes where back and white just like the rest of him. They were piercing and betrayed a mind to fear. Intelligence was a part of him much like his arm or leg. He moved with a grace unnerving, like a predator stalking his prey. Rarely had he seen a woman with grace even minutely close to this, but coming from a man it was unnerving in the extreme. As the man strode past vi, he glanced at her. A flicker in his eyes occurred at the contact of their mutual glance. His body movements did not portray lust or desire. As he reached me he, he offered his hand, I was still crouching over the prone body of the slug. I accepted and he pulled me up. When I stood up our eyes were on the same level.

I could feel the strangest experience in my mind. I could smell burning parchment and scandal wood, could feel long, thin, spider-like fingers pressing against my temples. Visions of my daughter fill my consciousness. Her at 11 in a classroom tossing her hair acting like her mother with her bossy way of asserting her intelligence. Pictures of her eyes sparkling with the excitement of new knowledge. Her being angry and obnoxiously stubborn, trying and failing to cover them up with a mask of mocking sweetness. 14 years old and dancing with boys, brimming with beauty and youth, laughing all the while. Her glances under her lashes at the person looking at her. 16 years old with red cheeks and yelling angry and magnificent, glaring with all her might, if looks could kill…… defiantly a granger, my baby girl. Pictures from my own memories, holding her after she was born, pink and squealing feeling the fear and joy of fatherhood over taking all of my senses. Hermione pretending to be a ballerina at 4 jumping up and down glee at being in a snowy white tutu. Screaming in joy at getting a chemistry set at 7. Challenging all her boy cousins to arm wrestle her and winning them all. Her coming home from school for summer at 16 and going out for groceries and having boys (and men) stare at her. Pictures filling mind Hermione screaming, crying and writhing in pain. A cool voice that was soft and smooth spoke in his mind. You must give what they want screams and torture they want to hurt your daughter, if you hide your strength they will think their job done, I will do all in my power to get you and your wife out of here alive.

As the voice withdrew and the man walked away from me, I found strength in his power, part of me believed him, why? Because Mione was in love with him-romantic or just loving I do not know- but there was no other word to give the glance she shot him under her lashes. And as pain filled my body and the stone assaulted my body with its cold, course embrace and the scrams from my voice and my wife's I heard a reptilian voice over me speak.

"You ssssssee Ssssseverusssss, my plan is to drive Mr. and Mrs. Granger inssssane sssso that the child will ssssspend all of her time trying to ressssstore their ssssanity. And by not killing them Ssssseverussss will be credited for bravely sssssaving their livesssss. Break the pillarssssss of the temple and it will tumble down, break the foundation for the pillarsssss and the pillarsssss will crumble."

That was all George could remember.

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Please review!!!!!


	17. Ministrations

Dark. That is what the sky is. Light weakly flutters down from stars overhead. The moon is almost full, the lake glistens in its timeless glory. Warm enough to stand in short sleeves while invading the night's perfection. Cool enough to wish for a man's coat. I couldn't sleep. All I could feel was pain, all I could hear was my own hoarse screams then the cold hand awoke me.

Lain across my forehead, it soothed and reminded me of my reality. My safety. When I stand here I cry but I don't know why. I don't know why. Or who. I don't know anything.

The question that would send her into hysterics was so simple. Taken for granted by all blessed with sanity. In all my life as a mediwitch I've seen so many insanity cases, especially in the last 20 or so years. It was the wound that bled the most, which ached with the pain that begged to be scratched, it was that one area of life that when confronted with, all humans begin to ask questions they rather not. So resembling life yet lacking so much. It was one area that wizards had not managed to conquer. Maybe it wasn't a big enough headline for them. Selfish pricks. And so many a wizarding family had to face and live with a shadow of a loved one so similar so to remind but so dysfunctional as to torture.

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When she saw them with me she cried. And thanked me. And threw herself at me. She was happy. She didn't know then. She did exactly what the Dark Lord wanted. Now she knows and she still is in my arms. How easy it is for her to be a tool, ruled by her sentiment and emotions. Knowing her parents I feel I can understand parts of her moreWhen lupin comes she doesn't detach herself. Neither when the head master comes. Nor when the doomed messiah-child comes. She doesn't release me when the Weasley child is here either. They leave and only we are left. Immersed in greif she grips my robes tighter every move I make, afraid that I too will leave her.

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He is warm surprisingly. His chest is hard and moves when he breathes. His breath is slow and even unlike mine. An unchanging source of comfort. I don't want him to leave me, I am safe when I am with him. I feel so small and child like in his arms. Throughout my life he has been cold and unfeeling to my eyes. But according to professor McGonagall my eyes were only untrained. It almost made me laugh to think of the good ol days where everything was an adventure, and Snape was the boogie man. Any teacher that didn't thank the almighty for Hermione must be evil.

The order's library was warm and held so many memories of lovely normal days. Her life would never be the same. Now this war was real. It affected her now. They had taken away her innocence, her belief in fair and justice. All gone. Things she thought to be known and had accepted looked now so childlike and naïve compared with what the world truly is. Everything and everyone seems to be lies based on lies. Nothing is as precieved. Only Snape, only Severus never pretended never lied. When he didn't want to be known he was distant, he didn't lie and tell stories while smiling and nodding. He was safety, he was warmth, he was the unknown. Part of me I don't how large or why but I do know that that part of me wasn't lying, that part of me needed him.

His hard chest was not bony, it was rather covered with a thing padding of muscle that rippled with every one of his movements. With exhaustion over coming all thoughts and tears finally drying on two perfect soft rosy cheeks a woman drifted to sleep curled in the depth's of a man's arms.

As Hermione gave into the persuasion of her exhaustion and fatigue she remembered dreaming of two nimble hands caressing her scalp and face promising safety and love in their ministrations.

All that night Severus could only see the pain on the face his angel when her mother didn't recognize her.

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To say I am disappointed that I only have 3 reviews for last chapter as opposed to the regular 9 would be a vast understatement. I haven't read the three reviews because lent and all that but trust me I will hunt you down when this is all over in 20 or so days. Thank you as usual for reading I love you guys, I would really love it if you had time to send me a pm it keeps me relatively sane. Sorry about the shorter chapter but you get what you give. (can you tell I am cranky?) I basically wanted to dwell on their evolving relationship in this chapter. Any how if any of you have time leave a review and I will love you for it. Thank you so so so so so so so so much for reading as always  I am cranky but I haven't cheated yet!!!! Am soooo proud of myself!


	18. Sensation

I had a totally different idea for this chapter when I started but thanks to listening to 'California Dreaming', 'Please Don't Stop The Music' and "Maniac' I have come up with something so foreign to any thing I have ever written before or have ever thought of, sorry if it is a bit cheesy I couldn't help myself, pm if I have any major grammatical errors, after reading this would you please tell me if I should change the rating to M?

Thank you so so so so so so so so so so much for reading I love you guys!!!!

Much love

nHc

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Chapter 18

The nights are getting colder, reminding me yet again that the last year of childhood was right around the corner. How strange it is, the time I have dreaded has come and passed without fanfare or notice. Childhood has left me forever, how long I have left this state of my life I do not know b It just in the past days have I noticed. It feels so strange to realize all these years I have been blind to so much around. So selfish in my blanketed sight. Seeing only what I wish to, knowing only what is safe. In that world there was good and bad people, right and wrong, black and white. It was comfortable, it was known. There was the villain and the hero nothing ever in between. Nothing was ever complicated, nothing hard to decide was it right or wrong, such an easy question then. Now I find that everything is imperfect, nothing is as I perceived. Earlier because of Professor Snape I had gotten a hint of this, but now it seems to engulf my world. Everything is a reminder of my naivety. I feel so stupid and young. Ignorance was something I always laughed at and mocked but how idiotic I feel now knowing how ignorance was the very essence of my mind. As I think through moments of my life, I laugh at how I sacrificed for rules that didn't matter, that didn't mean anything. The fool all the while screaming and boasting its intelligence while geniuses stand in the shadows. And all the while no one ever noticed or perhaps they were under the same delusion as i? But the only person I wanted, needed support from, admiration and acceptance from had known, had seen me dance the part of the fool. Part of me never wanted to expose myself again to his scrutiny.

I was sitting at the kitchen table at the order's head quarters, head in hands, staring into the murky depths of my tea, contemplating again the mysteries of the universe. Fred and George along with Lee Jordon had gotten out of an order meeting and were raiding the kitchen for sustenance before heading out. As Hermione listened to their incessant chatter she became almost claustrophobic. The task of breathing seemed a chore, and not screaming an impossibility. How in one day a girl, woman's world could turn completely upside down and backwards. Hermione just kept on seeing her mother's blank eyes staring back at her without expression or emotion. She had spent most of the day following the raid sleeping and walking in circles all over head quarters, unable to concentrate or take interest in any activity. As Hermione listened to the boys talk about their upcoming evening she interrupted.

"I want to come"

"Hermione, first of all you are-"said George

"-far too young missy- " interrupted Fred

"- and innocent-" commented George

"- to go to a drug and booze infested club-"said Fred

"-with many a womanizer-"scolded George, Lee snorted

"- as your adult superiors we cannot-"

"- allow you-"

"- to accompany us!" ended Fred

"And what if I told your mother you were using your flat to supply half the witch population of Britain with-"

"Alright!" Yelled Fred and George instantaneously

"You can come Hermione, but trust me you won't like it" said Lee

"I will be the judge of what I do and do not like, I will go upstairs and change, if you leave without me you will not be able to service half the witches of witches of Britain for a month and-"

"Alright, alright we get the point!" said George

Why Hermione asked them to go, she didn't know but part of her wanted just to get out and live. Now the problem, how to look over 17? Preferably without looking slutty…

25 minutes later Hermione arrived downstairs much to the boys' relief. But the fact that the woman was most defiantly no one they had ever met before left them confused, when Hermione's voice came from the creature they were shocked. Hermione looked old, and nothing like the little bookwormish sister they had come to know. Grabbing her cloak the red lipped, older Hermione guided the four of them outside to the apparition point.

When they got to the club they were accepted easily "it's Fred and George!" but as soon as they entered the club the boys separated and left Hermione on her own. It was dark with flashing lights, pounding music. It was frightening with all the strange people around her looking at her, some looked like they would have liked to devour her. Standing there in uncomfortable clothes and makeup she almost never wore, standing in a frightening hostile place Hermione was over come with the need to cry. Every ounce of her was focusing on not crying here in this place of strangers glaring. As Hermione turned to leave she felt a hand grab her arm and pull into the thrashing mass of limbs that convulsed on the dance floor.

Hermione felt even more out of place as bodies pressed themselves against her, covering her ever inch of flesh, moving as one being in time to the deafening beat blasting around their bodies. But as Hermione stood there and gave into her tears, she found she didn't need to cry any more to express her despair. As she absorbed the darkness with the flashing lights, and the bodies around her, with the hypnotic beat she became a slave to the music.

Finally not caring about the opinions of others around her, she became ruled by her senses. Hands around her waist, her hips gyrating in time. She let everything go, her morals, common sense and her cares. Arms above her head crossed in an x moving in ways she never considered or thought possible. Twisting, bending, turning, thrusting, dipping swerving, shaking, grinding and gyrating, feeling so free and unbound. As she danced she closed existing only in the sensation of the rhythm owning her being. People watched as the woman expressed her self totally with no hesitation or embarrassment. Men taking turns dancing with her, she danced in and out of reach going wherever she happened upon. It was a feeling like no other, a feeling of power and freedom absolute. How long she danced she didn't know but her tears and screams went unheard, drowned with the beat controlling her body.

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As they watched they became of how unknown the girl/woman really was to them. As he watched her dance the only thought that entered his mind was dancing with her. Her mane of sweat soaked curls whipped around her as she danced, carefree and a mystery to all surrounding her. Every ounce of the passion that hosted itself in her body was expressed in every movement, eyes closed glistening with sweat she was a goddess to all males to behold. With every twist and turn of her body the temperature of the room rose and all being were being called to her dancing form, to revel in her new found freedom and glory. Limbs graceful in their thrashing and twisting, ushering others forth from the shadows to join in her hypnotic state. Everyone woman in the room envied her and wanted to be her. Many of them leaving in swarms from lack of suitors. As others of the group dispersed seeing her safety and the knowledge that she wouldn't stop for a very long time, Severus stayed the creature before him tempt him with every bob of her head. He was the last one left of the order members he gave in to temptation and passion.

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She could feel hands on the small of her back guiding her movements towards the man. Her legs entangled with his, never opening her eyes she put her arms around his neck. Guided by their convulsing hips and his thrusts they moved in unison. Her partner swept her to the ground, bending her back, hand bracing her mid-back, sweeping her in his arms. She could feel the muscles under her hands and explored his body. Hands resting at his forearms that supported and held her up, she examined the taut muscle under his skin. As the music pounded into their flesh, they grinded their hips into each other giving complete over to sensation. He pulled her flush up against his own body so that no space would separate them any longer. He guided her effortlessly as he supported all of her weight. She could feel every tendon in his body and it made her even more aware of the conjunction of his leg between her two thighs. As she opened her eyes black depths greeted her and before she could breath his mouth was on hers.

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So is it Severus dancing with her? I will only update the next chapter if I get 105 reviews yes I am mean get over it. I am still mad I only got 8 reviews for the last two chapters. Thank you again for reading it really is appreciated, please please,please,please,please,please pm me!!!!!!!! I love you guys, am cranky because I have gone without Fan Fiction for about 2 and a half weeks, it literally is driving me nuts!!!! So should I change the rating to M? Inspiration for the dancing aspect was how I feel whenever I dance, my friends always say I dance like a stripper, but I really don't mean to, it's just me expressing myself. Thank you again you guys for reading, I never say enough how much it means to me, you guys are amazing.


	19. The Next Chapter! err sort of

Chapter 19 (sort of) this is a very long author's note

I will probably update this story on Friday sorry about that guys HUGE project biographies on people and research is being a complete bitch ANNNNNYYY WHOOOOOOOO

I have been told that Sunday is the exception to the giving up thing apparently god foresaw that we might go insane from lack of contact with readers so I will check my reviews on Sundays (I can't believe it has only been like 10 days grrrrrrrrr) I will not how ever start reading stories on Sundays if I do I will totally relapse and I want to actually succeed this year

so this is bascically a huge answer to everyone of your questions/reviews!

Chapter 16-------reviews

Thank you so so so so so much for being the only 3 to review sooooo many brownie points to you notwritten, debjunk and Snape's Only 1 you guys I love I did not have to threaten you in a psycho serial killer manner to get you to review

Chapter 17----reviews

I just want to say hi to ctc who I don't think has reviewed before but they were the first to put this story on their alert list when I saw that I got sooooo excited sniffle sniffle looking back at what a naïve little author I was

I haven't seen you in a while Obsessed.Otaku.of.America but your review is really appreciated it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

Sirius 4-ever and a day my sista on fan fiction we reviews whores stick together!!!!! am soo sorry can't review your story now but I promise you are on the top of the list I will review EVERY CHAPTER!!!!

Dexidelight270 sorry about the short chappie was tired, lazy and very cranky and I might just might take you up on your offer!

Makya I haven't seen you for a while either good to hear from you thank you so so so so so so so much what you said really helps me keep going in the writing process

Debjunk thank you also your review made me feel all gushy inside, man you guys are so sweet and supportive or are you just buttering me up so I'll update faster….

Snape's Only 1 you always see what I'm about to do with the whole relationship thing and you always inspire me to do my best thank you for reviewing it does help a lot

Chapter 18-----reviews

Sirius 4 ever and a day, your name is chayla? Keeeeeeeewwwwwwl! (cool) maybe wild maybe not maybe it is alllllllllll a huge dream Hermione wakes up and realizes she is attracted/pining over snapiepoo and did you know when you combine their last names you get Grape?!!!!! I have been trying to work that tidbit into the story ferociously but it hasn't qqqqqquiiiiite worked out…..

Debjunk, sultry I loooooooove that word! Another word I try to cram into daily conversations! (this butter is absolutely sultry…)thank you and the whole thing with asking for the rating change was asking if readers wanted something that might come up to change the rating of the story…… ;)

Snape's Only 1 you make me feel so chastised, something akin to being caught in a wood shed by your parents while some serious petting is errrrrrr might theoretically happen….. The reason Severus is there is because the order noticed Hermione was missing and went **ballistic**. They knew she was depressed so the possibility of seriously injuring herself or worse and the possibility of her being out on her own and vulnerable. Then the whole thing of voldiepoo changing his mind and kidnapping her was a verrrrrry likely thing knowing how stable homicidal lunatics are….sooooo the order sent out a MAJOR search party and Shacklebolt ran into Lee Jordan who told him Hermione was at the club. The order members went there to check that she was ok. Snape is with them because everybody noticed how Hermione was clinging to Severus the night before so all of them think that she has a crush ("Snape?" exclaimed Sirius " Well it HAS happened before…." replied Lupin " But I thought Hermione was a relatively sane girl, a relatively sane girl that is all starry eyed over Ron Weasley!" " Sirius you are sooo behind on the teacher gossip Hermione has been over him for ages! And…well love has no common sense or reason…." "Whoa, WHOA!!!!! LOVE? NO, no this is a silly little crush thingy-") But nobody has mentioned this to Snape, Lupin artfully suggested that if there are Death Eaters there they might need someone with dark arts experience and Snape (because he was looking for an excuse to go) agreed with this notion and set off with the order party please review this errrrrr chapter so I can see if this meets with your expectations and thank you for being hones with me it really helps a whole lot

EruthiadwenGreenleaf thank you! I have been working reeeeeaaaally hard on my descriptive writing so thanks for letting me know that it is finally paying off! And don't you hate it when you are forced to go to a club with sort of friends you know them but they are more like aquintences but every time they find out you are going some where they just tag along and then when you start dancing they freak out because they are TOTAL prudes………………………… sorry for the tangent I seem to be doing those a whole lot more these days….

Sev's Gurl thank you for the review it hits close to home sniffle sniffle sooooo sorry for the long update and for the false alarm!

Solara107 I was soooo nervous when I updated this chapter because it was unlike anything I ever wrote before but according to the general consensus it was great so thank you for your vote of confidence

Thank you again guys for reviewing and reading it really means a lot and have you noticed I can never write so correctly? That is sooo annoying (oh fuck! It's unconscious!) oh well far far too lazy to actually fix the problem thank you guys again for those of you who do not review I still love you it is just I don't have you're names so I can't tel you! The reviewer to get me to 100 reviews gets dibs on upcoming info in later chapters along with a dedication for the next 3 chapters, the reviewers who get me to 105 will get the next two chapters dedicated to them so review and if any of you reaalllly want to have some imput on who the dancer is pm me I can't decide between two ideas…..

Much love

nHc


	20. The Man errr Boy of her Dreams

Chapter 19 for real this time

She couldn't breathe, but at that moment breathing was over rated. All Hermione was thinking of was the strong very male arms around her waist, and the firm very male lips that were making her head dizzy (from lack of oxygen and other…things…)

Hermione Granger was in her own cathartic fantasy world where boys noticed her and people thought of her as something extraordinary. But unfortunately despite the large absence of oxygen that wasn't making its way to her brain Hermione Granger realized what reality was. Scared out of her mind of what she was doing and what she had been doing she attempted to shove the male person who was attached to her face currently, away. Attempted being the operative word because Hermione wasn't used to shoving people while wearing 4 ½ inch heals. Instead of shoving him away she pushed herself from his grasp and then fell into his chest. While trying to gracefully and quickly flee from her partner she glanced at his face. The sight that met her terrified her to the brink of her sanity.

There standing before her was Professor Snape. And he looked different. Not the kind of different that you get from having a haircut or changing your skin cleanser. No the kind of different that happens when someone goes from 6'4", thin, long black haired, pale, early 40 something year old male the last time you saw them to being a 6'1", thin, long black haired, pale, eighteen year old male. He was almost unrecognizable when it came to his face. Sure there were similarities but you could consider him a young cousin or nephew. But part of Hermione knew this was Severus Snape. Gone where the worry lines that separated his eyebrows. Gone were the purple circles, the pinched look to his pallor. Sure he was pale and he had some darkness to the skin under his eyes, but he didn't look worn yet. He was not weary, far from it, judging by his demeanor. But besides the shock of seeing an eighteen year old Severus Snape, Hermione was terrified of the black depths that greeted her gaze. Gone was his cool icy demeanor, the shell that encased his true personality and emotions. His shields were non-existent as well. But Hermione truly wondered now if his barriers where to protect himself or to protect others. Young in his stature and face but burning from his eyes was knowledge of the world. Echoing back from the black depths was such bitterness and anger never witnessed before by the young woman standing before him. It was not directed at her but rather a back drop to his present emotions but they were always there, never wavering.

The last time she saw anger in his eyes had been just two days ago. Terrifying as it was to facing his wrath nothing compared to the hate expressed in his eyes now.

As a reflex she closed her mind to intrusion. In response he furrowed his brow and opened his mouth say something. What it was or if he actually said anything was lost to Hermione for with the combination of the pounding music and Hermione running through the crowd she never heard a word. As she ran through the crowd she was met with pulling arms and cries of 'Hey baby'. When Hermione finally escaped the quivering, living mass that was the dance floor she found she was in a different club. It was a strange design somewhat resembling the muggle 80's but with wizard twists. How she had managed to go to a different club was beyond her but she needed to get out of there fast. She didn't want any hallucinations of her professors to find her. After trying and failing to find the Weasley brothers and lee Hermione stumbled into the alley and tried to find a place to apparate safely. Cloak tightly wrapped around her she tried to apparate to Order Head Quarters but she couldn't picture where she was to apparate. Frightened and scared Hermione tried her best to remain calm and level headed. She made her way into the leaky cauldron and shakily asked and paid for a room. (Always prepared, Harry and Ron constantly teased her for it but right now it was a blessing to be the worry wart who always prepared for the worst case scenario) Hoping that George, Fred, and Lee would realize she was missing she transfigured her clothing (some young witches sometimes left their wands at home when they weren't carrying a purse or didn't had enough cloth on their body to keep it in but Hermione being always prepared …) and flopped into her bed thoroughly exhausted with worrying about her location and not her parents' sanity.

Later that night Hermione was awakened by the sound of screams and the sight of smoke. Grabbing her wand and covering her face with part of her cloak she made her way out into the street. Everywhere was fire and people were running and screaming in the streets. Bloodcurdling screams made her spine set on fire with fear. A fear unlike anything she had ever felt before. Smoke rising high into the nights' sky, brethren to the flames that lit the streets. Someone ran into her not even stopping her screaming. But Hermione soon realized that some screams where just caused by fear but some where screaming words. As soon as she was able to discern the words her blood ran cold. It was not just fire spreading through the city it was death itself for they were screaming, warning of the impending danger, blood covering their legs and feet they ran screaming for lost loved ones and the horrors they had witnessed. Screams and warnings of "Death Eaters" filled the air, choking the air out of Hermione's lungs just as easily as the surrounding smoke. She didn't know what to do, if she should just blindly run with the rest of the crowd to what ever destination but her decision was quickly made for her. In the smoke on the right side of the street emerged Death Eaters casting unforgivables in their wake. She wasn't a sporty kind of girl and had never regretted it before now. Clad in tennis shoes jeans, a tea-shirt and her black cloak she ran with every ounce of will inside her. She saw spells whizzing over her shoulder and turned slightly to cast stunning spells towards her attackers sparing no more than a second to the curse. Taking a sharp turn into a dark unlit alley unoccupied and silent she fled. Soon she heard step foots echoing behind her hitting puddles along the way (I don't remember it raining…….) hoping with all her might that her black cloak would cover her and blend her into the darkness she continued to run not willing to count on her stealth. She reached a metal fence and turned to examine the situation facing her. Three Death Eaters faced her slowly advancing towards her. The blonde one chuckled softly which was amplified in the deserted alley.

"What is a pretty little girl doing all by herself in an alley? With three dangerous Death Eaters facing you? Are you scared little girl, you really needn't be you'll like it too… " Hermione was nervous. Whenever she talked to her parents about being in a situation like this she was always informed to run or scream fire both of these options however where unavailable. And all Hermione could do was buy time for her thought process to catch up with her situation.

"Why would I be scared of three cowards hiding behind some petty mask? What are you too afraid to show your faces? Death Eaters…… sounds like a name a group of little 12 year old boys made up in order to feel important, pity it only makes you all sound like weaklings…" ok maybe not the best choice of words

The black haired one now laughed a cold mirthless laugh that sent Hermione's skin crawling up and down her bones.

"A little fire cracker this one is Lucius, I think this was the one that shot the stunner that knocked down Nott. Yes she will be fun-"

"Shut up Rodolphus! The Dark Lord wishes us to continue on with the mission just kill the child and let's go!"

Another cold chuckle "Oh Severus always the good little boy are we?" Heaven have mercy was this Professor Snape or the bizarre angry passionate dancer form before?

"And that is why the Dark Lord favors me because I know how to obey orders, if you waste anymore time on this silly girl I swear I will-"

"Oh lighten up _**ol Sevvie-poo**_ just a little fun torture isn't going to kill you!" Lucius grins at me perhaps finding himself clever at his remark because it would of course eventually lead to MY murder. The Flames illuminated their faces slightly but they each decided they needed to see my face more clearly (perhaps to see my expressions of pain) for they each cast lumos and approached me slowly as if stalking their prey. And playing the part perfectly I backed into the fence until I could feel the cold metal of the fence press into my back. Lucius stopped suddenly and the other two followed suit. I could see the glimpse of a grin behind his mask as he spoke.

"Severus don't you recognize her? She is the little whore that was dancing with you in the club." Severus then gave me the once over and I bristled visibly, Severus stepped back by reflex but caught himself then growled at me. Rodolphus then whined, begging again to torture me but Lucius interrupted him, stepping right up to my face. He took off his mask and was moving his face towards mine when I came into crisis mode. I kicked him hard (lower stomach or groin I don't know but I didn't stop to find out) it was enough time I needed to try to get over the fence. I managed to get over it and I started running hard across the dumpsters. My footsteps clanging as I ran, but I soon heard them running after me. But soon I reached the end of the dumpsters and the roofs but I hadn't lost them yet. As I stood at the edge of my oblivionone of the Death Eater's castSectumsempra on my leg. Facing flames and the street below I turned to face them while shouting and taunting them in the last moments of my life

"You can torture and kill my body you can terrorize all of the world but you will never win. For when we still have hope, when still we have minds and when we still have wills we will never be controlled. Part of me pities your existence little boys for you have been dazzled by lies and the suggestion of power. For you have sold your lives and the lives of your offspring for you are the only powerless slaves in this war"

Struck dumb by my foolish and brazen remarks they stop their chase for a moment and allow me my window of opportunity. And as I step back to fall to my death I wish for everything I have been able to do but I can not waste precious seconds crying I embrace why I am dying. They will never own me. My life or my death they never will control it. And seconds before I die I realize that not many I know can say that. Mrs. Weasley controlled through her love for her children and the need to protect her family. Dumbledore as leader to the Order and signal of hope to so many. Harry, savior to the war. Neither his death nor his life holds any escape from control. And Professor Snape…… Severus, how many deaths, tortures and rapes did he have to see in order to snap, to need to get out. I suppose I will forever be forced to hypothesis and wonder about who he really is. And as I fall to my death I scream to the sky that no one will ever own me.

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A scream dying on my lips sweat dripping down my neck my bed greets me. It was just a dream, a little dream a harmless nightmare not my life nothing to do with my life. But how much was truth? Did my parents really go insane? Did professor find out through Occlumency that I knew of his only love? Which was dream, where is the reality line? I sink back into my pillows, my heartbeat slowly slowing down to its regular pace. I see blood on my sheet. Fuck I thought I just had it two weeks ago? I get out of bed to change my pajama shorts. But it isn't my moon's blood that is causing the crimson hue on my sheet, perhaps a bloody nose? I try to keep calm and lie to myself that a bloody nose is possible even though the blood is at the end of the sheet. As I move my sheet my leg comes into view. I breathe a sigh of relief and I yank back the rest of the sheet so I could go wash them.

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My other leg is bloody with a deep slash from my upper knee to my ankle.

* * *

I am scared. Scared shitless. All of us are but it's my life that seems to be causing this. Or the homicidal lunatic somehow. He keeps on lying to her. Telling her that it was all just a dream, that she just had a fit and injured herself before passing out because of her 'grief'. He explains the wound I gave her as self inflicted and that her mind made up a story to account for it. I find myself becoming more and more confused about this woman-child. Confused over what she is to me. She is brilliant but naïve. Pretty but too young. Sweet but foolish. I know now I do not find her appetizing in a sexual way and I definitely do not consider her to be a woman I could be in a relationship with, in but these new memories! Memories belonging to a stranger; memories of a beautiful spirited girl whose lips where soft tantalizing. They haunt my every thought, every memory I remember of her, everything I know about the woman-child has been tainted by the memories of an impulsive young boy. I don't know why my magic is pulling her back to my final year at Hogwarts but it is and I need to prepare myself for more changes in memory, opinion and in my life.

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Every since my melt down –which I still can't remember- I have been trapped in the order's head quarters. But finally with much begging on the part of me, Harry, Ginny and Ron I am to be let out to shop for school supplies in Diagon Alley. We left early at 8:30 in the morning- much to the boys' protestations- walking to the port key (Mr. Weasley wanted us all to arrive at the same place-Ron has a habit of apparated a good 40 yards or so from the designated meeting place) We had a ton of chaperones (I thought we were keeping a low profile?) which included Professor Snape –I think he was bullied into it by Dumbledore something about getting to know his apprentice-. I know it was a dream but I still feel very awkward around Professor mainly because of the thought I would make him be the male I was errrrrrr dancing with and the fact that his kiss keeps on flashing in front of my consciousness whenever I make the mistake of looking him in the eyes. I feel even more nervous that I am going to start staring at his lips because he watches me like a hawk. I think he is waiting for the opportune moment to pounce on me for knowing his secret. I am such a sick puppy. The one male that detests me to impossible ends I am busy fantasizing about his and practically fornicating with in a public place! Why couldn't my subconscious choose Neville or Professor Lupin if it has to be an older man. At least it isn't Mad-eye Moody, although when I think about it I would probably choose Moody over Snape because I don't have to be his apprentice and you know if he finds out he would be nice about. He wouldn't emotionally torture me over it or black mail me….

Oh shit! Why do I have to always have an inner dialogue while important stuff is happening, mainly when it has to do with Snape! We get to split up into groups (low profile) and I have me and one other person in my group my 'chaperone' Professor Snape.

About 20 minutes pass before he even looks at me. He storms his way through the streets, easily making his way through the crowd with being 6'4" and having wide shoulders to shove with. Me on the other hand 5'5" and teeny am stepped on and is usually the person getting shoved. After one grunt in my direction at Gringotts and one brief hand signal to show he was turning into Nocturne alley you would think I was stalking my Professor. After he disappears into one of the many shops lining the dark foreboding street I wait for him assuming if he wanted me with him he would have waited. I close my eyes for a moment and lean against the wall because of a sudden burst of dizziness that overtakes my senses. When But I reopen my eyes I see my Professor exit one of the shops labeled 'Blud's Apothecary'. I watch him in the rain from my dry patch against the wall and I wonder how long it will take him to find me. I see him stand near another man. He seems shorter than I thought he was (maybe it is just because he intimidates me). As if sensing my gaze he turns to face me. My blood runs cold. And I remember. It wasn't raining before.

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Does he recognize me? I'm not wearing any makeup. Dear God, save me! He is walking towards me faster and faster with each step. In my mind I scream over and over how it is just a dream, I am just hallucinating. But those eyes can not be imagined and even if it is a dream why can't I run? Isn't there a suspicion that if you die in your dreams you die in real life? My body finally seems to realize what is happening and it finally moves. Racing through the rain I try to out run him, hoping I can make up for my height in endurance but considering he has nearly a foot taller than me even if I was athletic I couldn't out run him for long. I try every dirty trick in the book. Knocking over crates, shoving people into him, taking alleys and side streets, running through shops and outdoor markets all the while becoming fully aware of what damage the Death Eaters had done. I don't know how many days or weeks or years past since I had been here but it didn't matter because the once happy and vibrant city was in ruins. Running was my only hope, last time I barely escaped this younger demon like Professor Snape but if he caught me I doubt I would be let out so easily. And as I run, I form a plan. All I need is 15 seconds of being hidden by the crowd or him lagging behind me and I can disappear. I managed to sprint my way into the Leaky Cauldron and into the back alley. I can hear a fight in the bar occur and I can hear the younger Snape's voice among them. Some how by some freak accident of nature I manage to make my way into muggle London without him bursting out of the bar until the bricks were closing back up again. Before he makes it through I cast the invisibility charm and wait to see which direction he goes in. He finally sprints through the wall and looks around searching for me. As he walks towards one of the stores I try to silently move myself towards the wall so to escape notice. I feel relief wash over me as he walks away. I shut my eyes for a moment to revel in my narrow escape. In seconds following my relief a strong hand closes around my throat and pins me up against the brick wall hissing in my ear

"Clever idea girl but the rain was sliding over your frame"

She couldn't breathe,and at that moment breathing was defiately not over rated. All Hermione was thinking of was the strong very male hand around her throat, and the firm very male eyes that were making her head dizzy (from lack of oxygen and fear)

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I worked really hard on this guys please review it would really mean a lot. I know there must be questions some of you have regarding this chapter so feel free to ask, I love talking to you guys.

much much much much much much much love

nHc


	21. The Past and Their Really Cute Boys

Through many reviews and pms I have become aware of people's confusion over last chapter. May I now take this opportunity to discuss last chapter's events? In last chapter we discovered that Severus indeed was the mysterious dancer although with a certain plot twist. Severus was indeed the dancer but as Hermione observes he is a younger Severus around 18-21in years. As she disentangles herself from their bodily embrace she attempts to come to grips with where she is only to find the club looks nothing like it did before. Therefore we may (and as author I will second this) assume that Hermione is now in Severus's past. As she makes her way from the club she can't apparate to the order's headquarters because they don't use Sirius's home as headquarters in this time (his family is still alive and he isn't even in the order yet) so she has to settle with getting a room in the leaky cauldron and waiting it out. In the middle of the night death eaters are attacking Diagon alley and she flees from the leaky cauldron in order to escape the magic caused fire that was slowly enveloping the surrounding buildings. After she makes her way into the street she realizes that death eaters are causing the chaos. They soon immerge into her line of vision and she runs from them occasionally throwing curses back at them. After turning into an alley three death eaters are following her they have their confrontation, they then chase her to the top of a roof and she falls to her death. She wakes up discovers it was dream, but we realize it was not because she has a gash from Snape. We later hear from Severus's POV (point of view) that Hermione has been convinced by fellow order members that it was all a hallucination caused by a melt-down brought on by her stress and grief. Severus knows however that it isn't a hallucination because his memories are changing. He told Dumbledore before about this and Dumbledore believes him but has decided to lie to Hermione any way. Severus thinks (and as author I second this) that Hermione is being pulled back into time by his magic he although he doesn't know why he suspects that Voldemort is behind it all. Hermione believes that it was all a hallucination and therefore becomes uneasy with thoughts of Severus. She believes that his part in her hallucination was brought on by some subconscious crush on her professor. coughing fit ehem clears throat meaningfully while waggling eyebrows ok, well on with summery! As the group of kids is finally allowed out of order's headquarters in order to shop for school supplies. Snape and Hermione are paired up and barely speak as they do their shopping. Hermione is left in the street of nocturne alley while Snape shops in one of the shadier of shops (she never sees what exact shop he enters) when she catches sight of him she realizes that he is young and angry again. They have a chase and Hermione ends up pinned to a wet, damp, stone wall by his hand around her throat.

She was soaking wet from the rain and her clothes hung on her, mimicking her frame almost acting like a second skin. It was getting hard to breath but that was the worst of her problems. She didn't know this Severus Snape at all but the one that she knew wasn't exactly warm and huggable.

"Who the hell are you?" he hissed well at least he didn't have bad breath….

Hermione didn't know how to answer, to tell the truth or to stall or to spit in his face she was leaning towards the last choice with the way he was handling her throat

"Answer me!" He was angry oh he was ANGRY it was like being trapped under a boulder while a starving tiger roared at you, spitting on him didn't seem like such a good idea…

"Speak! Are you dumb?!" Stars where interrupting her vision and she couldn't quite see anything clearly. She was getting dizzy and didn't seem to be able to think clearly, her eyes frequently fluttered closed without her permission. Hearing her small pathetic gasps for air he loosened his grip on her throat allowing her more oxygen. Hermione gasped and clawed at his hand willing his iron grip away so to be free to breathe.

"Okay let's start this over again, who the hell are you and how did you manage to not die falling off of a building 5 stories off the ground?"

"Why are you a Death Eater Mr.Snape or should I say _Master_ Snape how old are you 15?" ok that was a really stupid bluff he looks 23 nowhere near his teens and the fact I look like a 12 year old boy wouldn't really cause him to be intimidated by me… mentioning age wasn't a very good strategy.

"My age has nothing to do with this issue I want answers witch and I am going to get them!" if only his legs would move back an inch I might be able to get my wand…

"Whatever you think I am going to spill my guts to one of-"

-gulp-

"-**Voldemort's** little boy scouts?" Okay muggle reference wasn't such a good idea he probably won't get-

"Do you dare mock the Dark Lord's name in my presence-?"

"Well that is just what I did, didn't I? Man I guess they don't have adequate health care for death eaters if they can't even hear-"

All of a sudden his hand drew back and struck her right on her cheek bone. Causing her skin to purple immediately and her eyes to fill with tears.

"You are a COWARD! A pathetic, weak coward who hurts children and hits women!" He paused at her impassioned speech a faraway look in his eyes, his hand also loosened slightly at her throat. Hermione kicked him in the male reproductive area and ran. Digging her wand out of the back of her bra Hermione sprinted nowhere in particular hoping to escape him in her frenzied state. 15 minutes later not catching a glimpse of him she mad her way back to the leaky Cauldron.

Still wet and slightly dripping Hermione made her way up to the bar laying her head on the table after she was seated.

"You look like you need a fire whiskey" Tom said softly smiling sadly as he said it, reaching out to her hand.

"Ummm no but thank you…."

"No money? It's one the house sweet heart…"

"No sir, thank you for your kindness but I'm not quite used to the errr taste yet…"

"How old are you lassie?"

"I'm almost 18 sir"

He chuckled softly at this

"I spose you never snuck a drink before you turned 17 did you?" Hermione blushed scarlet was it so obvious to every one she leaned slightly towards being a goody goody?

"No sir…"

"Alright well would you be interested in a butterbeer my good lassie?"

"Yes, I do have money though-"

"No, no it is on the house sweet heart."

A couple seconds later tom had a mug of steaming butter beer in front of her. He stood there, staring at her expectantly as if waiting for something to happen. Hermione felt nervous as she grasped the mug with her hands wondering what she needed to do, did he think she was part of a secret society and she needed to make a hand signal of sorts. Perhaps it was poisoned or dosed with Veritaserum which didn't seem like Tom but she really didn't know the man. After taking a couple sips and not feeling dizzy or overwhelming urged to tell the truth about the man who was wearing a rather bad toupee what she really thought. After having a couple more sips and tom having a few chit chat conversations with random people Tom returned to speaking to Hermione.

"What is your name kido?"

"Hermione." This way she would actually answer to her name …

"How do you know Snape?" Oh shit!

"I mean you look like a good girl and you two come tearing in here him chasing you an' you looked terrified, I mean what trouble are you in Hermione that you have-" he leaned over, his hands placed on the wooden bar top his face closes to hers

"- a _Death Eater_ chasing after you?" whispered Tom fatherly concern echoing in his mocha brown eyes

"Umm, well he and a couple other Death Eaters corned me when they were attacking Diagon Alley but I managed to escape and he saw me today in the street and was cchasing me, I managed to give him the slip again…."

"Oh poor girl now they are targeting little girls –no offense"

"non taken"

"-the cowards are now targeting our children well most of the new Death Eaters are mere children…" he shook his head

"If you need anything just let me know ok girl?"

"Umm Mister errr Tom, could you find a way for me to meet Albus Dumbledore?"

"Please Tom, Why- Never mind it's your business, you just need to send him an owl and he will arrange something, if you need a job or anything I can offer you something here, but there is also an opening at the apothecary for a counter girl. The owner prefers females they are less likely to be aggressive towards customers"

"Well that's sexist!"

"Well, it is more low profile than here; sometimes Death Eaters come in for drinks and meet sometimes in the rooms. You might be safer spending less time here."

"Thank you Tom, I will see about the job at the Apothecary later. I suppose I will go to send Professor Dumbledore an owl thank you."

"Alright be careful he might have come back, if any one gives you trouble head here I'll take care of them."

"Thank you Tom."

"Be back by 11 so I know you are ok."

"Alright, see you Tom."

3 days later Dumbledore met with Hermione. After 4 and a half hours of talking –Hermione heavily guarding the future's secrets from Dumbledore's curiosity and line of questioning- Hermione was arranged to continue out the remaining week and a half, were she will then be transferred to 7th year and she will attempt to find out what is taking her here and what she must do. Her name was to be Hermione Agatha Grey and she had previously been home schooled until her parents died this summer. The week and a half was uneventful with no death eaters and enough money was earned for school books and robes. When the time came Hermione was nervous and hesitant to leave Tom and the Leaky Cauldron. Although it gave her a sense of safety she knew she would feel better when she got to Hogwarts so she wouldn't have to keep looking over her shoulder for Severus Snape or the demon that inhabited his body in this time.

Hermione as was usual to her custom arrived at the platform 45 minutes ahead. But with the exception of 1st year Hermione did not know any one but this year she didn't even have her parents by her side. Watching friends laughing and embracing made her realize how much she missed her friends. Many pangs later and through a handkerchief or two the train finally arrived. Eager at the thought of hiding behind a book and not immerging for 3 or 4 hours, Hermione grabbed her trunk and made her way to the train. As she struggled with her luggage (she was attempting to organize them and control all 4 of them at one time in the air) she heard Harry. Luggage forgotten she spun around to where she heard his voice. There was Harry laughing with a couple other boys while trying to do the same with his luggage. As relief washed over her (she had a friend!) she paused to look at his friends. There were 2 other boys with Harry laughing gesturing madly (doing the male bonding thing) one was similar in height and had his hair in a pony tail-much in the fashion of bills only being black as ink. The other boy was smaller than the other boys and looked to be at least 2 years younger. He was chubby and seemed to be the odd man out. Hermione began approaching Harry and his two acquaintances when someone tugged on her arm. She turned around only to be greeted by a chest she looked up into a friendly with brown eyes that glinted yellow. But this kind face was familiar and caused Hermione's blood to run cold. This man, um, boy was Remus Lupin and the boys over there were Peter Sirius and James. Which meant that lily was here. This all meant that she had to be very careful about what she did. But all these kind familiar adults turned peers did not cause her fright. It meant that somewhere on this platform or on this train was Severus Snape and for Hermione that was a very bad thing indeed.

"I haven't you around here before, new face or blossomed colleague?" said Remus -whoa I didn't'

Know Remus was a flirt!

"Um, new face, Hermione Grey and…?"

"Oh this ol thing is Remus Lupin Brainy gorgeous prefect with rather hairy legs!" Yelled Sirius putting Lupin in a head lock

"I-" Declared Sirius chest puffed out

"-am Sirius-" He bowed making graceful sweeping hand motioned as he did

"Black at your service-" he said as he plucked her hand from her side

"-anything for such lovely face" he murmured as he gently kissed her hand. Never breaking eye-contact throughout his performance he smiled devilishly at her. Hermione was sorely tempted to cry and to form a 'sirius' crush on the young black. He was sly and intelligent not to mention gorgeous. And then the whole thing of him being tantalizingly hot. He was definitely a heart breaker.

After raising an eyebrow and laughing softly Hermione gently pulled her hand from his grasp while reassuring him if she was ever in need of a strong male to guide her she would call out his name. Sirius was about to counter back when James galloped forward and grabbed his best friends arm and twirled him around. He then went on in one breath about Evans and how magnificently gorgeous she was and how in order to continue her good view of him he needed to remain with her the rest of the trip. Sirius thoroughly mock scolded James for being insatiably rude and not introducing himself. After a hurriedly "Potter, James" and a chorused "Call him Jamsie!" Sirius was off on James for abandoning his mates for a woman. "I mean Evans is irresistibly gorgeous and brilliant and funny and fantastic and wonderful and amazing but wait……I love Evans! Evans? Lily! Oh, Lily Flower! Do love me for this flea bag of a potato sack is nothing compared to me! We shall have beautiful offspring you and I Evans! I mean his hair doesn't even- gettoffmeah!" Thus James and Sirius began to fight with Remus scolding and peter cheering them on. Hermione took this as her cue to leave.

Levitating her bags into the nearest compartment that wasn't too large or on the end of the car Hermione plopped down with several books on potions on her lap. If Severus Snape was going to be in her class she was going to prove to him that she was his intellectual equal (and make sure she was highest in the class, in every class). The train ride was very useful for studying up but not on social interaction. Apparently she had chosen the correct car to sit in because she didn't see another human being (except the lunch cart lady) the whole trip. Light gave way to darkness and soon stars glittered outside the window. 3 neck cricks 4 fallen asleep limbs and one growling stomach later the train stopped. Hermione hastily changed into her school robes and levitated her luggage outside of the window. Stumbling and tripping her way through the crowd Hermione attempted to come to sorts with which direction she needed to go in. But her dilemma was soon solved when one very large hand came from the swarm and yanked her out of the crowd. She wanted to cry for joy when she saw Hagrid but she realized he didn't know her. He quickly explained that she was to go into Hogwarts with the first years. This time when the small fleet of boats glided through the pitch black water she wasn't looking for a frog. It felt so strange for her to experience it all over again. As the boats inched forward towards the castle Hermione realized if -no when! - she got back she would have gone to Hogwarts for 8 years! It was over all too soon the reliving of her 11 year old hopes and fears all in one little boat ride. She clambered up the side of the bank for the second time in her life. Waited in the room where everyone giggled and whispered while Professor McGonagall. She felt almost naughty for knowing what was going on in the other room. The fact that she knew that there were no banshees involved with the sorting and no one had to perform magic in front of the school. But part of her didn't want to quell their fears, she didn't want them to know what was going to happen, she wanted them to experience it like every other class before them (and funny they really weren't younger that her, they were actually older than her) and after them. So she waited like the rest of them for them to be ushered into the hall.

She smiled as she heard their gasps and exclamations at the hall and its ceiling as they traveled through the hall, no longer aware of all the school's eyes on them. She tried not to think of him seeing her and seizing up with anger. Perhaps snarling and murmuring to his other classmates to hate her. But she felt no angry gaze upon her, she heard cruel whispers. All of a sudden standing on one side of the hall waiting to be called (for the second time) she felt vulnerable. She stuck out. She couldn't hide behind someone taller or sink into the floor. She was too tall, too old. She seemed to be swimming under water as she walked up to the hat. Sitting on the stool she remembered being so big. The hat covering her eyes began to whisper softly in her ear.

"Hello Miss. Granger how are you dear girl? Now let's see…. Yes wonderful mind, bravery of course mmmhmm now isn't that interesting? The need to prove your worth, loyalty, honesty, ohhh but we can manipulate can't we? You could join Hufflepuff and make that house great or perhaps do Gryffindor again hmm? Or should we place you in Ravenclaw have you thoroughly worshipped and despised for your mind…..? And then there is always another choice… a very interesting experience it could be in Slytherin and you could be closer to him you know…. You say you don't want to be? But Miss. Granger it is all here in your head, part of you desperately wants to know. To unravel the puzzle to discover what is hiding under all that self control and cool veneer… and in that house you could be closer to him… you could also unravel the inner workings of the Slytherin mind, it might help you in the war to be thrown into the snake pit…why so weary Miss. Granger? It will show you many things but then what do you value more? What do you want more? The known and comfortable, acceptance, fame or perhaps, Severus Snape?

Review and tell me.


	22. The Snake Pit

I know I really should be ashamed of myself 3-28-08 - 5-03-08 I feel so bad understand if you never review again.

Chapter 22

Night. A time where everything is examined and scrutinized. Your whole life is somehow laid out before you, and you are able to judge yourself without bias or any predisposition. Encased in a black velvet cocoon and meditate on who I am and what makes me an individual. The canopy bed is an exact replica of its many sisters in the room. Tall with dark mahogany for posts and the head rest, black velvet is draped over the bones of the bed giving you a sense of an almost embryonic embrace. Its darkness would seem disturbing to many but to me it is peace. It feels like something out of a book, tall, magnificent and foreboding it was the perfect place to crawl into after a day in the castle. Around me there is silence. Not one of the other girls murmurs or whispers in her sleep. Not one breath rustles the air. No disturbance assaults my senses. Under the cloak of night this silence has malevolent undertones almost giving you a sense of a soul's fear. Uneasy as it might make others feel I do not feel the least bit intimidated. I have always found silence soothing, making it easier for me to drift into a state meditation and understanding. Flashes of light strike my eyes from between the curtains of my bed, alerting me to the thunderstorm that is approaching. Soon thunder is the only sound I can hear, soothing and comforting me in its dark tones. Even as a child I never found thunderstorms frightening. Just comforting. I remember sitting on the porch and listening to the thunder storm and mom bringing out lemon bars. But mommy and daddy don't even know who I am let alone the recipe for lemon bars or any of those memories. Of going to gram's house and picking the lemons. Of running in the orchard. Of mixing the ingredients together in the bright orange bowl. Of sitting on the porch at night while it rains. Eating lemon bars. How stupid I feel. How selfish. I never realized how Neville felt or did he really feel this way? His parents died before he could really form any memories of them. And by choosing this house was the hat right? Did I really want to know Severus Snape more than anything else? No, no I chose so I could better acquaint myself with the Slytherin mind and by extension the Death Eater mind….I can hardly remember anything about what happened after the hat called out Slytherin. I felt like I was walking under water, automatically walking over to the Slytherin's table. I never noticed how quiet it was when a Slytherin was sorted. No one clapped except for Slughorn and Dumbledore. No cheering from the other houses and no one uttered anything from that table.

Earlier the other houses seemed curious about her but now they either avoided looking at her or shot her glares thinly veiled with hatred. To some it was like she didn't exist at all. And to others that had given her warm open looks before now looked at her as something evil. Did she ever treat Slytherin like this? Walking in between the tables made her feel alone and scared. No one met her glance that sat there. No one gestured towards an empty spot. A low soft groan pierced the air sending shivers of fear to crawl up her spine and on her skin. Hermione knew that moan. She knew that voice. A tall dark figure rushed from the table running, clutching one of its arms, attempting but failing to disguise its pain. It went towards one of the exits of the Great Hall disappearing into the gloomy hallway. Madame Pomprey immediately rose and followed Severus Snape into the hallway. Immediately after her form disappeared from view, the sounds of their yells echoed in the hall. No one could quiet hear the exact words but all could understand the angered battle of wills that was taking place. She felt like an idiot, standing, frozen in the aisle. And although everyone was attempting to discern what was going on in the hallway, Dumbledore still attempting to act like everything was normal and proceeded to start his welcoming speech. Unfortunately no one was paying attention. And even more unfortunately there were still about 40 kids who needed to be sorted. Amid the chaos that was bubbling underneath the surface of the wizarding world's best and brightest's minds Hermione managed to find a seat at the end of the table. After several minutes of Dumbledore babbling on and on about random facts about Hogwarts (I mean even first year would know this stuff! It's all in chapter 1 of 'Hogwarts a History'), a very audible (but muffled slightly) 'NO!' came form the hallway. Seconds later a very flushed and flustered Madam Pomprey rushed up to the teacher's table. She whispered something urgently in Dumbledore's ear while attempting to discretely elbow Slughorn in the face as _he_ attempted to eavesdrop. Dumbledore then promptly ordered that the sorting be finished but he had some business to attend to. (so he had noticed…) The sorting commenced. Hermione watched every Slytherin sorted. The response was the same except for each child except for one or two, a certain number of Slytherins (different each time) clapped along with Slughorn and allowed the first year to sit with them. After this pattern repeated several times Hermione realized it was because the child had connections. Either it was a relative and their clique or perhaps a coworker's child and their clique or someone who was friends with the family. Hermione was starting to realize that Slytherin was called the Snake Pit for a reason. For the rest of the meal Hermione observed the others surrounding. Watching, she made mental notes on the groups that seemed to form. Apparently the phrase "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" was not always true in the house of Slytherin. Unlike the Slytherin house that was in her time, there was no kid who was universally liked. No one was truly popular. Looking and examining the faces around her, Hermione was becoming aware of the fact everyone was wearing a mask. Whether they where always smiling (a smile that never reached their eyes) or their expression was blank every one of them –even the newly sorted- disguised their true thoughts and emotions. Fortunately for Hermione almost none of them hide their bodily reactions well, or at all. All she had to do was watch their body language to find out. Finally the feast was over and she was guided to the dungeons. After entering the common room (emerald green was EVERYWHERE!!), Hermione was lead up 4 flights of stairs to the 7th year girls' quarters. Hermione had always assumed that the reason there were never any Slytherins in the library was because they didn't study but the reason for that was that the Slytherins had their own library!! No not Ravenclaw which was known for its intelligence, or Hufflepuff who really need the help, no SLYTHERIN gets the personal library if Hermione had known the first time about this, she probably would have gotten herself into Slytherin.

So as Hermione lay there she pondered the mysteries of the universe. And whished should be doing some prefect duties right now.

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"A bit melodramatic wasn't that prince?"

"My mark felt as if it was searing my flesh off, I had to get out of there before I started howling like a fool." Commented Severus Snape in an annoyed tone of voice.

"So what did the woman want with you? Besides the whole you acting like a wounded animal…?" asked a very bored looking boy. Draped gracefully across a sofa the blonde's legs seemed to be endless. Along with the flickering light of the fire he was a very attractive figure.

"You're a smart lad Evan, what do you think?" snarled Severus his black eyes glistening with anger

"Well I thought you would like me asking, rather than the usual, you know, telling you everything that happened even though I wasn't there. Most of the time I only have two snippets of gossip and I judge how hot I am by the aura of annoyance surrounding you." remarked Evan Rosier smoothly

After a moment or two of silence and no response from Severus, Evan again began to question him.

"Did the old fool speak with you?"

"Yes." He responded in a clip voice

"And…?"

"I had already contacted our Master, can we please stop talking?"

"I won't speak about that any more I assure you, but I do have a topic of conversation that I wish to indulge in, if you do not wish to engage fine. But it will be very hard for you to continue reading with Regulas, Rebastain and Wikes speaking with me."

This issued a grimace from Severus before someone began to speak once again.

"Evan? Did you find out any information on the Grey girl? You have more reliable sources than I." commented a slightly shorter, black haired boy who was as attractive as the blonde boy. He had a certain amount of polish and a slight air of arrogance but at the same time certain piercing understanding of others around him that was even more disconcerting.

After the comment form the young black, Evan furrowed his brow for a moment before responding

"That is what I was going to ask all of you. It is the oddest thing, no one knows who she is, not her family either. It is possible she is muggle born but I don't think so. I was watching her earlier and she has a way about her…"

Another boy snorted. His dark brown hair seemed lack luster next to the others', his eyes where also quite mundane. They were the color of tea that had tea bags left in it for too long, they also had no spark of intelligence to speak of. The only anything in his eyes was a predominant malevolent tint that flashed every once in a while.

"'A way about her'? What are you, infatuated with her already? All I could tell was that she had a very nice set of legs, besides we don't even know if she is one of the blood traitors yet-!"

"And what does it matter if she is? I mean it's just shagging-"

"Before we diverge into the wonderful topic of Evan's love life may I enquire who are we speaking of?" interrupted Severus

"Are you kidding me Prince? I mean I know it can get painful being called, but I have to back Rabastian up on this, those where some great legs!" replied Regulas

A fourth boy settled on the floor next to the fireplace snorted

"You're talking about her legs like they were the Sorcerer's Stone! I mean come on men, they weren't that great!" Like Rebastian Wikes wasn't particularly extraordinary, but he made up for his lack of intelligence and polish in humor. Even now there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"That is because you can't appreciate a good pair of legs all you talk about is female's breasts-" stated Evan

"Hey! Evan I understand the appreciation you may hold for a chick's legs but I mean come on, a chick's boobs are the best part of her-"

"Can we PLEASE stop speaking about whether a woman's legs or breasts are more attractive who is this, Miss. Grey?" interrupted Severus with a hint of amusement in his voice along with exasperation

"Well there is a 7th year transfer from no one knows where, a girl 'Hermione Agatha Grey' according to ol wrinkled vagina face's list. The hat took forever with her but finally called out Slytherin, but here is the thing no one knows her. Not one half-blood or pureblood has heard of the family of 'Grey'-"

"So she is a muggleborn, so what? I-"

"But Prince you don't know because you weren't there. You have the facts but you didn't see this girl she has this thing where she looks at you and it feels like she is reading your soul-"

"It is reaaaaaly freaky- I mean no one should be able to do that to other people! And there is the whole thing of her being hot-" interrupted Wikes

Rebastian snorted

"It you like them bookish! She didn't have a smudge of product on her. Not perfume, not a charm not one beauty potion nothing, nadda!"

"And didn't you say that she didn't have that nice a pair of legs before Wikes?" interjected Evans

"I never said I didn't like the rest of her, I just was saying that wasn't the best-" replied Wikes

"Can we PLEASE get back on topic? What does she look like so I can watch her tomorrow?" interrupted Severus

"umm about 5'5"? Brown hair kinda honey colored with brown eyes." Said Rebastian

Severus frowned for a moment before asking

"Does she have a freckle above her right eyebrow?"

"I don't know Severus I wasn't really checking for things like that, do you think you know her?"

"Possibly- we shall see tomorrow won't we?"

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I'm really really really really sorry I haven't updated in so long, i have just been on an emotional roller coster and haven't found the time to actually write. I hope you can eventually forgive me.


	23. Welcome to the House of Slytherin

**Note:**

There are a lot of long paragraphs I suggest minimizing your window to where there is less horizontal aggitation and highlighting with your mouse a couple lines at a time this really does help. Thank you so much for reading FiW and sticking with the story. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long.

much much much love

nHc

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Severus was a very quiet person

Severus was a very quiet person. Quiet in the sense of keeping your cards close to your chest. He is the very essence of secretive. It amused Evan to remember a time where he wasn't as secretive, he wasn't any where near as threatening. Amazing to realize it had only been 2 years ago when he was weak and pathetic, so easily manipulated, so easily defeated. It only took 2 years for him to turn from a social outcast to Slytherin's powerful black sheep and all it took was to separate him and the 'Gryffindor flower' more like should-have-been-put-in-Slytherin vine. If he had known that all that was needed to get Severus to this state of power was to get rid of Lily, Evan would have done it years earlier. It has become common knowledge that lily had been using Severus to enflame Potter's anger in order for him to do the whole knight in shining armor bit. Unfortunately for Severus it had worked out all too well. So the Gryffindor princess is sitting all too pretty with her Gryffindor prince shining and sparkling all so brightly especially in front of Severus. Evan suspected like many girls who had gotten used to having a following she feels less attractive if her little following of puppy dogs find love for themselves, because of this she will try to earn their affections again even though she isn't attracted to them. This was the reason Evan suspected that lily was always primping herself before classes even though James was in a separate class, coincidently she always choose a seat near Severus. If Severus still longed for Lily Evan had no clue but he knew that he couldn't let Severus dissolve into a state of puppy dog affection because he would lose the power and respect he had gained causing Evan to lose power and respect. And in Slytherin power was EVERYTHING. It didn't matter if you where liked just as long as you where feared. Being the biggest bully on the play ground was the goal. Well maybe for the guys but being a girl in Slytherin, whoa that was a whole different playground. The position Severus had earned over the years was the perfect balance of fear, respect and underestimation. Like all the other houses there was gossip and popularity contests but the politics that ruled Slytherin where much more complex and dangerous than any of the other houses. The obvious competition for grades and power was only the surface. There were the constant tensions of war and family position. Where your family worked, which side of the war was your family on, where you a muggleborn, where you a half-blood, a pure blood, where you a blood traitor? Considering that the Dark Lord recruited Death Eaters as young as 13 the pressures on the males of Slytherin to join the Death Eaters was tremendous often older Slytherins recruiting the younger ones by manipulating them promises of power, fame, revenge and respect. Victims where often turned to the Dark Lord so easily turned seeking acceptance and admiration. Evan became a Death Eater around the same time Severus did, Wilkes and Rabastian becoming Death Eaters a little earlier and Severus was the one who drew Regulas to the Dark Lord not that it took all that much. For that Sirius hated him all the more. For whatever problems where between the brothers before, Regulas joining the Dark Lord had crushed Sirius and had made him homicidal towards Severus. Regulas had always been seen as second best to Sirius even though Sirius had betrayed the family. Sirius had been loved by his family even though they had always been at war with him. Regulas had always looked up to him but after his brother snubbed him for getting into Slytherin Regulas only wanted to outdo his brother in every fashion. So by the time Sirius's big brother instincts kicked in it was too late; Regulas already resented him to an impossible degree. But now the two brothers where firmly on opposite sides of the war and both destined for destruction. After Regulas joined the Dark Lord Sirius blamed his parents and never saw them again (he was also overwhelmed with guilt, while his brotherly affections and longings for closeness became stronger and stronger, Regulas was being further pulled into the Dark Lord's grasp and farther from his brother) Regulas was also under a large amount of pressure from the Dark Lord because of his brother's familial betrayal, always having to prove his and his family's loyalty. Severus and I had always been partial to Regulas because of his clever, quick mind and dark satirical humor which seemed all the more amusing coming from someone as innocent looking as Regulas. So the affection that Regulas had always longed for from Sirius he got from me and Severus. So I can't get any information from Regulas that he won't share with Severus so I can't get him to hunt for information for me (he is popular with the females in all of the houses because of his looks, also being a Qudditch star he is close to locker room gossip and is worshiped a bit) Wilkes and Rebastian are a bit thick and the fact that I am snooping around would get back to Severus. So it is up to me to get information about this girl because Severus won't tell me any thing he knows unless I have some information of my own to bargain with. So the only way to get answers about this girl was to get on the ground and find out for myself. And I have the perfect plan.

Waking up to a canopy bed draped with Slytherin colors was a bit of a surprise for Hermione but Hermione was getting used to surprises. As she dressed and packed her books into her already overstuffed bag, the other girls covertly watched her. Every one was silent, no small talk and no excited whispers punctured the silence. After the other girls had left, Hermione found herself staring into the mirror, watching the strange girl watching her. It felt so alien to be at Hogwarts for her last and final year with no one she knew all the while wearing a snake on her chest.

Hermione then made her way upstairs into the common where it was completely disserted. She was about to panic ( how did she get to the Great Hall from here again?!)

"Miss…….Grey is it?" spoke a cool soft voice behind Hermione

She turned and was rewarded with the sight of a tall, slender, blonde boy(more like man…) leaning with an arrogant air against the fireplace. He was calm and relaxed acting as if it was his house she had stumbled into and not the common room. Part of Hermione was completely uncomfortable around this boy, he put her on edge. The fact that she was attracted to him slightly made her even more weary, memories flooding her mind of past Slytherin princes that had a silver spoon stuffed in their mouth and were equally handsome as the person standing before her. He seemed to examine her, a moment as if expecting a response along the lines of "oh and you're blank popular perfect blank, me? Me I'm nobody, I've heard so much about you blank! What an honor it is to be in your presence!" When Hermione didn't utter a greeting in return or some small little pleasantry one usually expects in these situations a slow easy small came over the boy's face making it hard for Hermione to concentrate on anything other than how good his sleet colored eyes looked when they sparkled that way. Oh boy! Get ahold of yourself girl! Just a pretty face…..

He stood up from his slouching position against the fireplace and made his way over to Hermione, towering over her the way only one of the male sex could achieve. Although he was long limbed and tall he could in no way be classified as gangly. In fact he moved in a way that was unfair to the female sex, no man should ever be that graceful.

Quite casually, when he reached her and gauged the height difference between them, he gently took her right hand from her side, bowed and brushed his lips against it, making her whole body tingle and her belly grow hot and hollow. He was barely touching her, holding her hand so gently that she wouldn't know he was unless she was watching him. Sirius had mimicked this same ritual but it had been a parody and had not made her a bit weak in the knees (how cliché! But there was no denying it, this was why the phrase was made, Hermione wondered why males didn't act this way whenever they wanted a girl? It would be impossible to say no to them.)

"Pleasure meeting you Miss.Grey" he breathed onto the top of her hand, his breath tickling her sensitive skin. His hair fell in front of his eyes obstruction the view of his eyelashes but that was probably a good thing for Hermione He stood up, released her hand. And spoke in the same clear soft voice

"My name, Belle fille, is Evan. Evan Rosier."

Evan Rosier Death Eater? Evan Rosier tool to bringing about Voldemort's rise to power? Evan Rosier, clever, back stabbing, sneaky, intelligent Evan Rosier? Evan Rosier short, ugly, and evil?! How wrong could the history books have gotten it! Was he as great of a military mastermind as he was begrudgingly labeled? Or was he just a powerful, manipulating pretty boy? Who everyone underestimated….

"May I enquire after you're given name, Miss. Grey?"

And mom and dad said reading all those Jane Austens was useless, oh mum and dad….

In response to his innocent if overly chivalric question Hermione began looking at a spot a little over his left shoulder, her eyes glassy and her bottom lip in the process of being thoroughly bloodied and mauled by her teeth. Evan was confused why would asking a girl (in such a heart poundingly romantic way) her first name would cause this reaction. After a few award moments of Evan being utterly confused Hermione seemed to come back to her present surroundings and murmur a soft "Sorry".

"My name… is Hermione, Hermione Agatha Grey, I, um, got a bit lost in thought for a second I'm sorry for drifting away like that…" he voice fading slightly as she look earnestly into his stormy grey eyes.

"May I enquire who your parents are? I only want to know if our families are mortal enemies or something, my family does have a few. You know, mortal enemies. In fact we have a whole book with listed and described vendettas, what families we are allowed to become rivals with…..the ones we aren't allowed to, which families insulted my families honor by coughing at a dinner party you know….just so I know if I'm allowed to mention you to my family."

"Interesting the little quirks that families have, vendetta books, luncheons, my family has some torture chambers….I'm kidding" commented Hermione

"I was also. So your parents…?"

Hermione suspecting something was happening that she didn't quite understand yet. How to avoid answering the question? How much of the truth should she use?

"I don't want to talk about my parents."

"Why? I don't care if you're a half-blood-" it was like bright red flare, sweet speaking, beautiful devil, of course it mattered how much of an idiot did he consider her?! Now to be vain, or to be a Slytherin?

"Like I would care what your views of me were. It has nothing to do with blood, nothing to do with politics and everything to do with a little folly of mankind named war. Leave my past and pain alone."

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"How would you? I apologize for speaking so foolishly, I'm still a little raw." Hermione said ever so sweetly with such earnestness that Evan was so caught off guard for a few seconds that he didn't realize that she was leaving until she reached the hallway. Miss. Grey was certainly very...interesting. She was definatly more than expected.

Who ever thought Hermione couldn't act? She could be as cunning and manipulative as the best of them.

Welcome Hermione to the House of Slytherin

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Severus was familiarizing himself with the new books in the library (namely in the potions and restricted sections) when Evan burst (well his version of bursting he was so disturbingly quiet to begin with). He glided over to where Severus was and stared at him until Severus grew tired of ignoring him (Evan learned through many years of trial and error this was the only way to gain Severus' full attention)

"That girl is...just…I can't"

"What girl?"

"The girl we were talking to you last night about"

"Which one? You do have a very complicated love life.."

"The girl no one knows? The one you might know?!"

This comment was met with silence from Severus.

"Oh stop it! I don't want to wait another 15 fucking minutes! You're a selfish bastard and you know it! Get your arse down to the Great Hall with me and tell me if this girl, if you know anything about her because the suspense is killing me and she is a walking mystery, you know how much I hate surprises? I hate mysteries even worse."

"And if I know her? What does it matter? Losing your composure over a little girl? A girl that has been described as bookish? What is the world coming to, I thought you liked playing games, especially with girls' minds and emotions. You are amused by their 'heartbreak' that you cause them."

"Oh cut it Severus! I'm all riled up and I don't know what I'll do, however unreasonable, to get my ends! Just, help me, please I'll owe you besides I found out some things that you might be interested in"

"About what?"

"About the girl!"

"Who says I'm interested in the girl! Evan, don't you remember that it's you that cares so much about this 'mysterious' little chit?!"

"God Damn it! Are you human? Don't you want to know? Do you have no curiosity in you?"

"I find females over-rated. And the fact that I am just getting over an obsession that was of a girl that is shockingly similar to the female you've described, I would really prefer not to risk my mental health."

"She is a kind that does test your sanity…"

"Sooo you will leave me be?"

"No, you and I will risk our sanity together."

"Rosier, you're the selfish bastard."

"Never a truer statement has left you mouth my friend, I will never leave you be until you do. You will see her eventually, she is in our year you know, why not see her and have me owe you?"

"You are a sly, slimy, bastard Rosier"

"Yes but I'm gorgeous and that makes up for it."

"Only in your eyes…"

Evan helped Severus clear up his books sliding them into his bag carelessly trying to hurry Severus up as much as possible. Evan was about to drag him by his arm but Snape shot him a glare that would melt an ordinary person's eyes.

By the time they made their way down to the Great Hall Severus was so agitated and Evan was brimming with so much anticipation that whole hall turned to view their entrance. No matter where they looked the girl was no where to be seen. Rosier was disappointed. Severus was relieved. He got over his queasiness from before and ate his breakfast in peace (Evan was off toying with one of his many girlfriends). 10 minutes early Severus started making his way to charms, alone.

Hermione had hurried down to the Great Hall right after speaking with Rosier, scarfing down a bagel and two strips of bacon before she made her way towards myrtle's bathroom. As she was making her way up she heard 2 familiar voices deep in conversation. Snape and Rosier were deep in conversation not even noticing Hermione shrink under the staircase. Snape was thoroughly annoyed and Rosier thoroughly excited.

"-is amazing and-"

"What makes this one so bloody amazing any way?"

"You will see-"

"Well what if I do? And then I will fall madly in love with her and we will duel to the death and I will win and then I will realize that we were both utter fools and that this girl is-"

"Just because Lily snubbed you so-"

"You know what? I'm not going to help you-"

"I'm sorry I won't mention-"

They faded out of view and earshot as soon as they reached the Great hall doors.

Hermione made her way up Myrtle's Bathroom and after a couple chapters of "Advanced Charm Work for a Charmed Life" Hermione stated making her way to charms 10 minutes early.-

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sorry for the wait i got a bit depressed last time because of lack of reviews and it has taken me a while to recover (HINTHINTHINT)!! cough cough

my love to all


	24. Pretty little Stranger

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

However strange it was to be in the past of Hogwarts Hermione felt the familiar thrill of the year's first class. The promise of unknown knowledge gave her a rush nothing else could; it made her skin tingle with anticipation, oh the curiosity! She had already read half of the courses' required books for the year but that couldn't stop her from hoping Professor Flitwick would introduce something new today(grab their attention for the newts, hopefully something difficult and tantalizing!). She felt as if she was walking on a cloud, bubbles of excitement forcing her to grin, she couldn't help it. Hermione could have been in a different time, a Slytherin and without any friends but knowledge was beckoning to her. And to a 'book worm' like her, the world couldn't be a better place to live in. Too soon she was outside the Charm's classroom, still 7 minutes to go (which translated to 10 minutes but it was ok Professor Flitwick started late he usually kept them 20 minutes over. And beside Flitwick always let her talk to him whenever and for however long whenever she wants to). Still grinning she pressed her books to her chest, hugging them in her exuberance. Hermione sighed and looked out the window opposite her, smiling softly drifting into her world of facts and incantations.

He wanted to get there early so he could his favorite seat, and preserve the seats next to him for Evan (only if no giggling females where in the vicinity) and for their books. He felt himself rushing even though he had an obscene amount of time before the classroom even was opened. He kept telling himself to slow down, but part of him wanted to be active and practically sprinting up three flights of stairs was the way to curb this urge. He wasn't out of breath when he got to the third floor (he had gotten in shape the last few summers, you had to do a bit of running about during raids) but his heart was hammering a bit. He checked his books one more time and glanced up towards the door. In retrospect Severus was quiet sure his heart literally stopped for a moment. She didn't look at all like the girl from last spring but he was sure that this was the Ms. Grey that had everyone in a tizzy. Leaning up against the classroom's door she was hugging her books close to her chest. That part of the corridor was flooded with sunlight from the window she was presently staring dreamily out of. Upon her face she wore a soft thoughtful smile. It wasn't wide, and it didn't necessarily seem to imply amusement or some great glee. Rather it was a smile that had escaped her flowing from her thoughts implying she was in an over all state of content with whatever her mind was commenting on. The light caught her hair making some strands glisten, and the light made her skin glow. Her eye where wide and innocent, lashes light and long- over all she was the sweetest looking Slytherin he had ever seen. Severus felt as if he was trespassing on some personal moment. However much he was convinced that he had never met this girl before, part of him felt as if she was the girl he had been chasing for so long. Only fate could be so cruel if it was her. She shifted her books

"Now don't be a bad influence on me guys. It's bad enough no one knows me without me acting the know-it-all the first day.-"

In a high squeaky voice she responded acting as the voice of her books

"Hermione! We would never be a bad influence, besides you're the one who acts like a fool! But why dear-heart wouldn't you want to show everyone how clever you are?" said the book ever so sweetly

"Oh no you don't I- Oh my God how long have you been standing there?! I must sound like an insane-" Hermione was completely freaking out I mean how long had that boy been watching her?!

After witnesses her moment of silliness Severus was put off seeing this calm girl so frazzled.

A warm deep laugh shattered the awkward silence. Severus moved into the sunny part of the hallway smiling slightly.

"I've done more ermm strange things. I'm sure that you don't do that all the time."

Hermione was standing silent and still. Like a deer watching the wolf circle closer and closer…

"I'm-"

"Severus Snape."

"I knew you'd spoken to Evan but I didn't know he had mentioned me-"

"He didn't. Evan is your…?"

"Friend, Best Friend more like annoying mind reading twin. Well in some matters, we come from very different worlds Evan and I"

Hermione stayed silent. Staring at him, her face expressionless, she didn't fidget even though the books in her arms where heavy.

He watched her watching him. Her face was even more attractive close up, even though she wasn't smiling any more. Pretty eyes now cautious, non-descript nose, perfectly shaped lips. You could tell that she took care of herself, her eyebrows where perfectly shaped and….and she a freckle above her right eyebrow.

Hermione had watched Snape's face change from curious, examining to realization. His black pools called eyes hardened and his expression was lost in his mask of non-expression.

"Miss Grey?" squeaked a small voice

"Hermione turned around so quickly she almost knocked over the diminutive professor.

"Hello"

"I'm Professor Flitwick, your charms professor. I was wondering if you could come speak to me now, so we can see what you need if you need to learn any thing."

And so Hermione made her 3rd escape, away from the angry young Severus Snape. Too bad she had potions in three periods.


End file.
